If you have to ask how, you're not ready. That's what it means to be cool.
In doing so, we found a great little installment of The Stack. Some great creatures with great titles, some great words for Pirates to say, and of course, an entire pick that goes into pun overload.
This one doesn't need much more of an intro though. Even the School of Rock's keyboardist Larry thinks it's cool enough.
(PHOTO OF LARRY WAS NOT COOL ENOUGH TO BE ON THIS ISSUE OF THE STACK. UL APOLOGIZES FOR THE INABILITY TO CONNECT YOU WITH HIS REFERENCE AT THIS TIME. WE HOPE THOUGH THAT YOU WERE AT LEAST CULTURALLY SAVVY ENOUGH TO GET THIS ONE. IF YOU WEREN'T, HE SINCERELY HOPES YOU FOUND THE MOST COMFORTABLE ROCK TO LIVE UNDER.)
Here's The Stack!!!
UNCLE LANDDROPS' PICK
First and Last names are just a thing when you're the bonafide MASTER BREEDER, makin' Thrulls all damn day. I really like this card a lot. I find it fun, hilarious, and he can do a lot of neat things. Imagine if we gave out titles like this to people in our everyday lives...
Johnny Confidant- THUMBS UP
I could see this guy making Babies all day to pitch to Blasting Station or supporting a kick-ass token deck like Ghave. One thing is for sure, this guys liniage is secure, i mean seven or more children? I kid but this guy is definatly the Goods.
Grandpa Growth- THUMBS UP
This is a card. And a deck. I occasionally get seduced by stuff like this, but not too often. This card is a big value engine and not to be underestimated. If they would just print a Green version...
Venser's Journalist- THUMBS UP
This guy is pretty sick, and his children are sick too. I once saw him in a Sek'Kuar deck, and he did more for the game than the general.
UL is right: First name, Last name with a title has a zing to it and my pal Momir is a Visionary. Mr. Vig triggers at any Blue or Green creature and that helps bring more creatures in to play. I've seen some monster decks with this guy at the helm, but he is just as strong within the deck as an asset. Either way, you cant lose with Momir Vig.
Grandpa Growth- THUMBS UP
Played a lot of this guy. So much. Too much, 'cept I can't get enough. Ravnica flavor was the nuts. It was the Coruscant of Magic and this guy was the Emperor Palpatine. Pouring out a 40 for my dead villian homies.
Uncle Landdrops- COOL COOL COOL
Momo's title as "Simic Visionary" isn't as cool-sounding to me as some other Legends I've seen, but he's still a pretty sweet card. I like his name better, actually.
It's rare to find a card that has a well-rounded coolness though. Like GG, I've played this card, and I talk about my iteration of this deck a lot because it's one of the first couple decks I made that helped to develop my theories and thoughts of deck design. I'm a huge fan of Simic stuff too.
Venser's Journalist- THUMBS UP
Although I've no experience with the Elf Wizard, I've seen him played a lot. Each time was a brutal ass-kicking. Not to mention the fact that his name is Momir and he's a Visionary.
GRANDPA GROWTH'S PICK
There ain't no sin and there ain't no virtue. There is just the puns you make.
Venser's Journalist- YOU'RE STEALING MY PUNDER
For a 4-drop, he's not bad. In fact, I like him way better than the Juggernaut.
Johnny Confidant- Nicely played GG
I'd pair this guy with Werebear, and let the game take a break from itself.
Uncle Landdrops- ....So Silent, You Can Hear a Pun Drop
....Coolness, I've always felt, is basically defined by the ability to let the thing or object create a context for itself. So GG, Gramps. I get it.
VENSER'S JOURNALIST'S PICK
Just try saying this name in a thick scottish pirate accent and NOT smile...
Grandpa Growth-THUMBS DOWN
I always kind of wanted this to be legendary. I also hated the name until VJ told me how to jaw it properly. Final thought: I find your lack of puns disturbing.
Johnny Confidant- THUMBS UP
I find his name with the accent funny, but no GG I do not want him legendary...he'd be LegendScary.. HUH?? HUH?? I'll...I'll be quiet...
Uncle Landdrops- VJ's Theory Sound- Drogskol, Thumbs Down
"Reaver" is a sweet word here, and there are a lot of other cool things about this card, but if we're talking about "cool," Drogskol just sounds so ugly-sounding, even for this sort of Steampunk-looking ghost.
Also, I can't talk like that painting that sings the Spongebob Square Pants theme, but imagining him saying this does make me smile. So VJ's theory is correct. It is impossible not to smile at a Scottish Pirate saying, "Drogskol Reaver."
DROG-SKOL REA-VER,
DROG-SKOLLLLL REA-VERRR!!!
(Jolly Pirate Laugh)
(Recorder Outro)
Be sure to check out GG's stuff tomorrow. He's starting a new article series called "Paupularity Contest," which is all about Pauper EDH. So if you don't know the 411 on this variant, Grandpa's here to educate.
Until then, don't be Squidward, don't say Sandy's full name, and just let Plankton have ONE Krabby Patty. I've always been upset when the Rabbit doesn't his Trix, or the little leprachaun was trying to hoard his Lucky Charms.It's just silly. Stop Hoarding.
-UL
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