Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Stack #12- Flavor With The Proper Swerve

It's a short sweet Saturday Zoners.

A few weeks ago we did cards we thought had bad flavor, so this week we decided to talk about the ones with that feel-good taste.

Hopefully, this won't be a "#iatethebones" moment. Cause we only like using hashtags in ironic, non-Twitter media. Or, whenever Nick Offerman from "Parks and Recreation" reads tweets from young female celebrities.



Anyway, we've gotta short class today cause I'm hanging out with GG, and we plan on going to do Hood Rat Stuff with some of our friends.

So here's The Stack.

GRANDPA GROWTH'S PICK
Grandpa Growth- THUMBS UP
Givin' cards the proper flavor swerve? I'm bout it. Cards should make sense. Great cards unite flavor and mechanics in a way that makes sense. True gems occur when said great card is able to elegantly illustrate a piece of the set's narrative story. That is easier said than done, but what the heck? The design team are professionals right? I find it strange that, in my opinion, Red has a highly disproportionate number of proper flavor cards compared to the other colors. Blue cards rarely, if ever, make sense. Lightning bolt and Earthquake though seem to make perfect sense.

Venser's Journalist- THUMBS UP
This is a board wipe for the ages. At least it doesn't include Planeswalkers and enchantments in its text...

Johnny Confidant- THUMBS UP
I have never seen this card hit play but in the right hands this could just be brutal, If you wanted a boardwipe this is it's definition. this card is great, simple and effective.

Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS UP
Boardwipes with huge sweeping one-word statements should do exactly what they say regardless of what other people have to say about them. Jokulhaups is still a cooler word though.

UNCLE LANDDROPS' PICK
Uncle Landdrops-   THUMBS UP
While Innistrad, the land of gothic horror, wasn't perhaps the best place to put this particular Clone iteration, it certainly wasn't the worst. He's actually gotten a power-bump now, considering the rules change. He's now the only Clone that actually can kill another Legend.

I like his flavor because he is as humorous as advertised, and he didn't warp the color pie. Also, I didn't quite understand the value of his bonus ability until I started cloning Solemns on the table. Even so, I like the way Evil Twin rewards you for copying your opponent's stuff. Funny, Fun to play, and Functional. This card passes my tests with 3 F's, which is actually a great thing.

Johnny Confidant- THUMBS UP
I had this guy in my old Vela deck before I even had clone and enjoyed his added ability. As UL said, he now got a power-bump which I feel is deserved for this twin. I can't think of any other clone id run in my next U/B/x? deck than this guy.

Grandpa Growth- THUMBS UP
I like to see classic cards get revisited and updated. It is sad to see them get outclassed by shiny new editions, but I can't complain too much about this guy. It's sweet. It does what you think it should do. It calls back to an iconic card. This is a win.

Venser's Journalist-
THUMBS UP

A solid clone-effect indeed, Evil Twin makes perfect sense. Only the evil one would stick a dagger in someone; the flavor text says so! Plus the art on this card almost reminds me of the forty times I've watched Army of Darkness. "You're a goody little two shoes, goody little two shoes..."


VENSER'S JOURNALIST'S PICK


Venser's Journalist- THUMBS UP
The best thing about the Azorius Guild is how satirical it is of the Federal Republic style of governing. No card sums up the legislative branch of government like the Elocutors. In terms of flavor, this reeks of it. Blue is about control and stall; White is about protection and bizzare win conditions. Don't believe me? Felidar Sovereign. Near-Death Experience. Barren Glory. In fact, it's one of my favorite win cons and with enough fog-effects and tempo, this card can be an unstoppable advising force ready to talk the opponents to death. Throw it in an Angus Mackenzie deck and have fun.

Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS DOWN
For a couple of guys who are supposed to be brilliant at speaking and gumming up the Azorius Senate, I'm not sure their voices are loud enough to be doing what they're saying.

I get that this is a slow U/W card. That's fine. It's just not, in my mind, what I would expect a group of people attempting a Filibuster to be doing. The idea of this act is to talk and talk and talk, which will either deadlock legislation or prevent them from doing something before a particular set of rules gets passed. Therefore, this action requires a proactive stance to create inaction.  Mechanically, what I feel Azor's Elocutors actually does is compel your opponent to action whilst you wait to be reactive.


The idea of an alternate win-con is a correct avenue in design. They just didn't get the rest of it right, is all.


Grandpa Growth- THUMB DOWN
I agree with Landdrops. This card is flavorful, but it isn't evocative of the concept it is presenting. A fillibuster would be stalling combat, not getting crushed by it. Check out how Queen Amidala smashes the fillibusting:


I wish I had more to say, but Natalie always seems to know the words that make me stop breathing.

Anyway, Happy June 1st. Now go forth and pretend like you fools never left April.
-UL

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