In case your SAT words are long forgotten and my punny-ness fell on your deaf ears, let's be clear about what's going on in this week's episode, before I "beetle" the bad puns to death, and you never come back to our lovely little hovel here on Blogger.
Insects. We're talking about Insects.
What I want you to say when you're reading this is, "YAY BUGZ!" Maybe jump out of your seat a la Boris from the 1995 James Bond film, "Goldeneye." It's kinda like this, but with obvious "YAY BUGZ!" replacement.
I know, this is a little ambitious, and I understand if you think this is a weird Stack. I promise you, we're only going to try and make them weirder. That's the goal.
Cause I get it. We all stopped caring about bugs after our parents took away the Magnifying Glasses and we realized we were no longer six years old, but come on.
It's time to inspire you to revert to your childhood and remember why you loved burning ants again.
Okay Oprah it's time-
RELEASE THE BEES!!!
THIS IS THE STACK!
JOHNNY CONFIDANT'S PICK
Grandpa Growth - THUMBS DOWN
The answer [to JC's question] is me. I don't like copies of 7/7 Trample Machines. Appropriately costed? What a joke. Swords to Plowshares is appropriately costed. If this is a 'good mythic' Avenger is what? Chopped liver?
Venser's Journalist- THUMBS HERE AND THERE
I've always liked the idea of creatures that can make more creatures, but Liege of the Tangle is a bit more effective at it than the Adephage. I'd say the only good situation for this guy is a deck with a whole lot of populate and Doubling Season.
Uncle Landdrops- I LIKE SPAWNWRITHE
Actually, not true-- I love Spawnwrithe. It comes out early and starts getting insane so fast no one expects it. Your opponents then have to waste removal on it, which also helps you in the late game when you want to play relevant threats.
This thing is not Spawnwrithe. Which is a bummer, cause I wanted Spawny to have a big bro he could count on, so I did try it. But I'm with GG on this one. THUMBS DOWN.
GRANDPA GROWTH'S PICK
THE STORM SWARM. The ultimate tool for a master wizard with a combo deck. Bonus fact: this is the card with the most creatures depicted in the art. Check out this Ask Wizards column for the full accounting: https://www.wizards.com/magic/magazine/article.aspx?x=mtgcom/askwizards/0507
Side note: I wanted to pick Giant Spider, but...you know. Insects.
Johnny Confidant- THUMBS UP
This thing seems NASTY! In 1v1 I can see this freeing up your second main phase of counterspells. Not to mention this is Green and a one drop. This 0/1 barks harder than it stings.
Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS UP
It's pretty cool. I'm not sure I'd play it. In EDH, I think this is probably about as useful as a Spellbook. I'd rather play Gaea's Herald. I'm just not sure what I'd do with an uncounterable main 2 in a Green Deck that wouldn't revolve around playing a creature.
Venser's Journalist- THUMBS UP
As someone who plays with instants, especially in defensive situations, my review of this card can be summed up in one word: Eeewwwwwww.
UNCLE LANDDROPS' PICK
The contest for favorite Insect was surprisingly competitive for me. I apparently play and have played way more bugs than I ever imagined. I know. I'm weird.
Of these, I picked Hornet Queen, which is funny because I got to a point where I decided to cut this card from my decks because I was playing it and Rite of Repping it all the time.
Seriously though- play this card. Hornet Queen is a really nice top deck in Green because the color's so flyer-handicapped and in the late game, drawing into multiple blockers with one spell can't be underrated. It feels so good to have it back now. I'm rocking it in Yeva, where I get to basically do what Oprah did to her unsuspecting audience. It's frickin' sweet.
Johnny Confidant- THUMBS UP
I've seen this girl get some nasty effects off. Combined with Cathars' Crusade in a Ghave deck just wrecked the field. I want to play this card sometime.
Grandpa Growth- THUMBS UGH.....P
Hate playing against it. Hardly ever cast it. Way too good to ignore, but somehow I still seem to ignore it. I am the real problem here. There is a part of me, ancient and buried, that wants the hornet hit squad to be able to form up into a gigantic insect robot voltron and defeat all evil doers in the universe.
Venser's Journalist- GOOD GOLLY MISS HORNET
When I fist saw this card I thought that it was a tad overpriced for spurting out a total of five insects. But then I realized how nasty a flying deathtouch 1/1 can be. She will render your non-first strike Sphinxes (which is pretty much all of them) useless.
VENSER'S JOURNALIST'S PICK
The ultimate Planeswalker/Everflowing Chalice/Graft destroyer. Its a solid insect and the name fits the flavor oh so well. Not the strongest bug, but certainly one of the most useful when faced against a pesky Garruk. No Wurms for you!
Johnny Confidant- Mixed Feelings
While I use this guy in Karador, he really only gets used in a pinch and will more than likely be replaced.
While he has some interesting uses in EDH from +1/+1 counter generals like Jenara. Planeswalker eating, or special counters like Fate counters he tends to be a dead draw more than useful.
Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS UP
This guy's been known to do a number on some cats. P-Dubs murder is his worst skill, which is strangely the reason most people slam him in decks. However, Kristen Stewart (AKA Vampire Hexmage) is still the value in that market and that won't change any time soon.
Truth is, he's actually bonkers with Ashnod's Altar and Undying/Persist Dudes. Even scarier is how cheap removal becomes when paired up with Horobi. Lot of dudes died the day that happened. I've also got a Vorel deck in my meta now, so this guy can earn his keep.
Grandpa Growth- THUMBS DOWN
I was never very excited for this guy. It just seems like too much mana to invest try and kill somebody's planeswalker. Let's be honest though, even if you somehow pull this off, you aren't really on the upside of the that exchange. They still got the benefit of the activation and you are left with just....this thing which is probably going to be killed right before they slam their next planeswalker. Sad times at Wizards High.
Deep down, I hope you all have favorite bugs. If so, we'd like for you to tell us all about them.
Anyway, if you're not too tired of hearing me talk/write in my voice that I use to talk, I'm filling in for ol' Gramps tomorrow since he did a lot of work earlier in the week with the m14 review.
So if you haven't checked that out, you totally should.
And you could look forward to me again tomorrow when take over Super Secret Sunday with some sweet free spells to play.
It's gonna be a good one, so don't miss out.
Until then, tell your friends about our blog. This is secretly just a simple social experiment to figure out how many degrees of separation there are between you and me and your friends.
I've theorized there's only one degree, and that is the Internet- but I could be wrong.
But I'll never know until I've tested my hypothesis.
Also though- We love Commander.
So tell your friends. We've got a good thing here.
Have a happy m14 release day, and all the after-after parties thereafter!
-UL
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