Reviewing M14: Threats

Hi, my name is Slim Shady Grandpa Growth! As has been the precedent in our short history here at The General Zone, whenever a new set comes out I, your humble narrator, review the set with a specific focus on Commander playables. Here are the rules: I will review all of the NEW cards (no reprints) that I feel are relevant in the format. The segments, as always, will be broken down into threats, answers, and mana/utility. So, without further ado, I welcome you to The General Zone's Review of Magic 2008 2014.

What is a threat? You should probably know by now that threats are ways to win the game. 'Win cons,' 'beaters.' Often creatures, but not always. Let's take a look and you'll probably get the idea.


I don't want to start things off on a negative note. So: Wayne Reynolds. Clutch. A pillar of the art game. Now that we have that out of the way, I hate Enchantress decks. I really cannot stand them. Gimmicks are lame. If you need a game dev to lead you around by the nose and tell you how to build all your decks then you probably love this stuff. A more expensive enchantress? Bad. A 2/2 token instead of drawing a card? Probably also bad. Getting a 3/3 body for the effort? Let's just leave this one at home boys and girls.

Follow-up question: Isn't Ajani dead? Didn't he battle Nicol Bolas and lose? Maybe it was the other way around. Either way, they have both showed up in sets after the fact. If Superman is dead, he should stay dead.


I am pretty excited for this card. This is out of character for me. I don't like tokens in the current format. I don't really like life gain at all (isn't forty enough?). This is what it would take for me to get on board though. It spirals out of control pretty quickly and will hit hard on the way. I am interested to see if/how fast this card catches on. It could signal a new wave of threats coming out of R&D that don't just bury people under pure card advantage. I hope that is true. I won't be pining for the days Consecrated Sphinx...except there is a new sphinx coming later in this article that kind of shoots my dreams in the foot.

So Slivers are back. That's a thing. I am not going to talk about them all individually because, for the most part, they are just updated wordings of previous Slivers....except for the Hellrider Sliver. That guy would appear to be a moderately sized game. Conversation about the return of Slivers has been polarizing, but I really couldn't care less. As far as EDH goes, it's a theme, but a pretty silly one. It's not a top tier deck and never will be until they make an indestructible sliver...


What I really want to say about Slivers (and M14) is this: it's a shallow cash grab. This set is weak and without a catchy casual theme to help sell the set, no one would ever care. Design seems to have backslid a bit. Slivers are back. The templating of Slivers has changed, but hasn't changed in such a way that it is updated in accordance with the "Double Strike. All other Slivers you control have Double Strike" style that we see on 'lords' these days. And we are even back to quoting real world literature in the flavor text of cards now? What is the deal with these R&D guys? (in my best Seinfeld voice) I was at least hoping we would see Slivers with two abilities. There is always next time, right?

Oh boy, more giant Sorceries! Do you have an army of tokens? Kill your opponent(s). Can't get through? Play Overrun like everyone else. Do not. DO NOT: invoke the Wrath of God.

This is a prime example of a card that would be pretty sweet/lethal if either the tokens got Haste (probably not White) or the card itself is an Instant (probably also not White).


Moreover, White doesn't really need any more ways to make more duders. They already have a bunch.


This card seems very sweet. Hate bears tend to be undersized in a format like Commander, but their effects can be so powerful that they warp the game. This is a strong one that I predict will be seeing play in many formats. Maybe it breaks into EDH, maybe it doesn't, but I am eager to find out. I occasionally have an itch to build a Gaddock Teeg, all hate bear deck and the next time I do, you can be sure that this lady will be in it. It is a little strange though that this card has an oriental flavor in the art. It is out of character with the rest of the set, but fits the card. Perhaps this means something.

AND WE HAVE ARRIVED! UL's favorite card from the new set and probably mine too. Just...look at this thing. It's really not that great. It's kewl. People will play it, but it's a little too expensive to be a real game-ender.

I am interested in this card because it represents an update in in templating for effects like Oblivion Ring. It doesn't appear to have two separate triggered abilities, so my question is: can you Stifle the return trigger or is there no return trigger?


Aww jeez. This guy. This guy right here? Harkens back to one of my favorite game locks: the old Isochron Scepter-Counterspell. This is more fairly-costed, but there is no restriction on what you can stick on this guy. FoF? Got it. Cryptic Command? I'd like three please. A well-protected arcanist will represent long term card advantage. A well-protected arcanist with something sick pinned to it is going to end the game in short order. Time Stop for example.


This card is so high variance that it's practically a crap shoot. I like me an Air Elemental, so I can't rag on this guy all too much, but whiffing on the ETB trigger is going to be demoralizing and it is going to happen a lot. I can't think of a deck that really wants this. You might see a couple floating around in casual-level Wrexial builds, but this guy doesn't have what it takes to be playable in top decks.


I think I can hear VJ salivating. This guy is pretty likely to draw you a couple card the turn he comes into play, which is powerful as is. It doesn't beat down, but it does block reasonably well. I can't see you losing the game if you keep this guy in play for a few turns. In competitive decklists, 4-5 free cards is going to be game every time. In multiplayer games...well this guy dies instantly so I don't know why you'd even bother playing it. BRING IN THE STORM HERD!


A 2/1 Deathtouch that is carrying his own Sword of Body and Famine? I'll take it. I like this card a lot. I can appreciate the trend of moving your threats down the curve to take advantage of all the free tempo being given up by the glacially slow control decks in EDH. This is bananas if you can power it out with Sol Ring. This guy can stand toe to toe with 6 and 7 drops. Take advantage of these new creatures. This is all value and has great stats for his cost. If it were legendary you better believe he would be the hot new general from this set.


You know what I say about big sorceries, right? Well, this one actually does pretty much win. I play a lot of Army of the Damned. It demands a Wrath immediately or they are going to be bleeding. I think this costs a bit too much to be considered truly bonkers, but take a look at the other things you can do for 9 mana. It's probably better than Artisan of Kozilek, Inkwell Leviathan, Kuro, Reya, the Red and Green Bringers, and maybe even Myojin of Life's Web. If you are in the same ball park as Iona and Plague Wind you are doing pretty well. Definitely in my Top 5 CMC Niner's. I even like the flavor text. VICTORY.


We all know a guy who has a Relentless Rats deck. Is this better? Worse? Silly? Someone will try it.

2-for-1's are still very strong in EDH. A giant, Flying Nekrataal represents a relevant threat. The drawback isn't that big a deal in Black or in Commander either. It will turn off eventually.

My real concern with this card is in the templating. Rosewater discussed this card in a recent article (the one he regularly does when a set is spoiled, talking about the design of individual cards in the set).

In this article he talks about the short history of Demons that destroy non-demon creatures, stating that it doesn't make good flavor sense for the demon to have to kill itself with its own ability.

In the same article, Rosewater talks about the updated Nantuko Husk, which reads: "Sacrifice another creature." The reason this change was made is because it doesn't make good flavor sense for a creature to sacrifice itself to an ability that is 'feeding' the creature. So, my question is this: if we have to feed the demon creatures until it has a full tummy, why can we sac it to itself? This is people's exhibit #5409843 in why R&D's logic is not internally consistent.

Dear Wizards,

The last time you printed a card that is absurd with Skullclamp I asked politely that you never do it again because the clamp was a mistake and abusing the clamp hurts the development of children and happiness everywhere. Since it hasn't been that long since my last request I am going to assume that this card was already designed and it was too late to change anything.

P.S. if this happens again things are going to get violent.

Sincerely,
Your Old Grandpa Growth





Engine decks already have enough working parts, but they have been printing pretty good ones lately. I like this card. It pushes tribal themes and it is decent value all on its own; the only con that I can see for Commander is that it doesn't play all too well Mikaeus, the Unhallowed (Black Mike) or Endrek Sahr. These are the two premier generals for the Black token/sacrifice decks, so having no synergy with them means that this card's uses have been severely limited.


Who is excited for new Chandra!? I agree with nearly all of Evan Erwin's thoughts on this card:

1. It wasn't quite juiced enough.
2. The +1 ability is very similar to previous Chandras, which is kind of lame. Each time it has gotten better, but this still isn't quite getting there. 2 damage would be too much for Standard or Modern, but 1 isn't enough for any format (except Pauper).
3. The 0 ability is sweet, but completely Blue. I do like that Red is finding new ways to get card advantage/selection these days, but it needs to be color appropriate, even at the highest rarity.
4. The ultimate is not really that ultimate. You need to be playing a ton of Instants and Sorceries (that aren't counterspells or narrow scope removal) and three copies isn't that much cooler than one copy unless the thing you hit is disgusting. If you hit Cruel, one copy would be enough to win, so the other two are irrelevant. If you hit something lame like Bolt, three copies isn't even really getting you anywhere. High variance, pretty lack luster. This will see limited play in multiple fomats, but won't break into Cube, Legacy, or high level Commander.

I am very fond of In the Web of War. The card is just a legit beating. This is cheaper and also attacks. I would define this as a pure victory for Red players every where. A critical mass of cards like this, Hell Rider, and Hero of Oxid Ridge will make Red aggro an archetype in Commander. Can you just imagine this guy with a Hostility in play? Lava Axe is now a kill condition.

Oh snap, big Garruk is even bigger now! This is a pretty strict down grade over previous editions, but it has brand new functionality and some interesting abilities. I am a bit disappointed that the -3 is restricted to Green creatures, but I guess settling for slamming a Terastodon on 6 is going to to have to do. I have said before that I like where some of the new planeswalkers are sitting on the power curve and this Garruk fits in with that crowd. It's just a shame that the old planeswalkers make them seem a bit lackluster by comparison.

I am very happy to see that they have printed a hydra that is:

1. Not Silly.
2. Doesn't have X in its casting cost.

It would appear that this card will be a solid beater in the format. You can expect this guy to show up in Commander. Have I said how much I like this new batch of midrange threats?

This guy needs a little help: Lightning Greaves, Aggravated Assault maybe. I don't see this cracking into any of my top decks, but I expect to play against it plenty.

Oh boy...we may be on to something here! Hexproof is just so powerful and so easy to underrate. It always turns out to be better than we expected.

This is a cheap early play that can grow out of control. The timing is key here; resolving this means that now control players are going to want to cast their removal and card draw at sorcery speed, which should allow you to resolve even more threats.

Keeping this monster alive into the late game will leave you with a substantial advantage.

Three drops occupy a strange space in EDH, most decks won't want to overload on them, but voltron style decks like Rafiq will find plenty of ways to abuse a cheap and powerful attacker like this guy.

Well, that's a wrap for the fresh beaters from M14. If I missed anything be sure to let me know. I'll be back in the next installment with the answer cards.