Reviewing Dragon's Maze Part 2: Answers

Welcome back to the second installment of TGZ's review of Dragon's Maze.

This time, we are going to be talking answer cards. Answers stop threats and slow down your opponent's gameplan. This includes removal, counters, disruption, and various protective spells. Good answers are cheap, fast, and versatile. Great answers are all of the above, but with extra value! Let's see if there's any great answers hiding in the maze.

Right off the bat, Renounce the Guilds is a pretty sweet one. Creatures and planeswalkers make up the vast majority of the multicolored permanents that see play in Commander. Such tight restrictions on what gets binned makes it fairly simple to make this as close to targeted as possible. Since most tokens aren't multicolored, this won't get wasted as often as other edict effects. The only real downside is that it is stone dead against monocolored decks and any time they just don't happen to have something to hit with it. This is isn't accurate or reliable enough for my liking. I'd say let your friends try it out first.









I don't really expect this to see any play, but anything with Cipher is good enough for me to mention. Repeatable effects don't need a whole lot of punch to take over the game. The timing of this is what really makes me skeptical. What are you supposed to do with two Twiddles at sorcery speed? Particularly when the recursive effect happens during combat. You can't really lock down their guys. You can reset your two best attackers, but giving two guys Vigilance isn't really that interesting. You need something else to really make this worth it. If you're going to all the trouble of assembling a combo this fragile you might as well win.









I have talked before about how much I like having access to this kind of effect. I am a huge fan of Suffer the Past. When your opponent goes to dig a creature, you can use these instant speed effects to counter their Reanimate and get value. This card can gain you quite a bit of life as well. I don't typically care about life gaining cards until they get into the 10-15 range and I always want them to have some other effect. Denying your opponent a threat, cutting off future access to their graveyard, and gaining a boatload of life is something I am willing to consider.









So I love me some split cards. They are just cards with more flexibility. Genius. I dig the whole Fuse thing. It's hot. I just wish that they didn't overcost every single card. Catch seems fine. No problem there. Release costs about 2 more than it should in my mind. Functionally, it is somewhere in between Decimate and Cataclysm, but I don't play either of those cards really. Maybe not that close to Cataclysm, but you get where I'm going. Fuse for 9 is just not reasonable and if you do that you won't even get to attack with their dude or activate their planeswalker before you dump it.

Flavor judge: the effect of these cards, have NOTHING to do with the name. AT ALL.






Are you starting to see what I am saying about being over costed? On average just about every Fuse card costs 1 more mana than it should per side. Barrin's Spite really isn't that great of a card anyway. How about Damnation for the same cmc?


What exactly is going on in the art of Away? Some dude is just getting eaten by a squid thing. The creative department really needs to draw a more clear line between what destroy effects look like in art and what edict effects look like. Fight is fairly obvious. Burn is pretty obvious. Just be consistent. That's all I'm asking.







Flesh isn't really an answer. Blood technically is, it's just bad. Flesh costs more than I would ever pay for it. Blood costs...ehh more than I'd like, but I'd take it. In terms of the Fusion it is a total rip off. You pay 7 to hopefully pump your guy and burn something, but you must have a sizable dude in the bin and you need all of these targets to stay in place in order for it really have any effect. That is just too fragile. 7 cmc sorceries should win. Especially three-color rare sorceries. This is approximately a million times worse than Violent Ultimatum or Lavalanche as a removal spell. It is probably better than Increasing Savagery as a pump spell, but who cares? No one plays pumps spells. What is this booster draft?






I am digging this card super hard. I only have one copy of Pernicious Deed, but I play the snot out of it. This card is the business. It sweeps the street and cleans house all in one. It kind of sucks that you can't make the colored mana down payment like you could before, but this way they aren't going to see it coming so they will be more likely to commit extra cards to the board. This card has wanted to exist for a long time and I am glad to see that it is finally here.

Flavor question: Can gorgons turn enchantments to stone by looking at them? Why does this kill gargoyles, golems, and walls?








U/G Arrest...why not? Doing nothing important? Pump your guys. If U/G weren't so light on removal in general I would say that this card wouldn't really see much play, but as it stands that just isn't the case. It might not be much, but this will get played. That is not a good thing really.














So, it possibly pumps your squad and protects you from Wrath effects as long as you don't tap out. That is something aggressive decks could be interested in. Does it give you a better shot of beating control decks than just playing a 2 drop beater? Probably not, but who knows. I have a deck with 14 board sweepers. Sometimes, I just don't even bother main decking real removal in EDH.

Flavor gripe: The legion's initiative is apparently to assault Niv-Mizzet. What does that have to do with disappearing and reappearing later? Come on people. Get me a rewrite.









This isn't super flashy and it is pretty expensive, but killing their threat and getting back a threat of your own is powerful 2-for-1 card advantage and decently reliable removal. Providing a large swing in tempo is also a big plus. Regrowing a dude and going upstairs for 6 damage isn't horrible either.


I want to point out that the demon in the art isn't bursting out of a morgue. He is bursting out of a graveyard. Why not call it Zoidberg instead?










Yea, U/G really gets all of my favorite things. Look at this bad boy! This mess is crazy hot. My bar for cmc 4 counterspells is pretty high, but this is getting over it no problems. Having the ability to play things on your turn, but not have to tap out is a huge boost to your tempo. This just plays so well with other counterspells. It is a modern take on a classic Magic card. Hopefully this iteration will be less broken than the original.

Old Nivy really seems to have his hands full in this set. Even the chumpy little new guys are picking on him. I guess dragons just aren't what they used to be. To be fair though, I wouldn't normally think of a dragon breathing fire as being the casting of a spell, but heck, what do I know?






This card has a little bit of spice. It is still horribly over costed, but protection from Wrath is something that G/W needs. Vault of the Archangels has proven the power of Deathtouch and Lifelink for the whole team. I just don't see this being a card that really makes the cut. Maybe in Ghave decks. Maybe. I don't really mess around with that kind of nonsense.

Ready does exactly what you would think a card called ready does. It literally PREPARES your troops for a coming assault. What would a card called Willing do? I don't know exactly, but it's not that.








 This doesn't have much of an application for EDH or Cube and it isn't a common so I probably shouldn't even be talking about it. It is a card that I like though. Lobotomy-style effects are really cool and they have taken some fun new shapes as Magic has grown as a game. They are somewhat rare, which adds to their mystique. This is a well designed card. It shows that there is still plenty of design space left for this type of effect. Power scaling, color shifting, messing around with targeting restrictions; it is exciting and I am looking forward to the next time it comes around.







 


This is in my top 5 favorite cards for this set. I dig it. I dig the design concept of stapling two cards together. I dig Counterspell. I dig Silence. I dig that they are making counter spells more fair by making them more expensive, but still keeping the power balance intact by playing with the details. Changes in rarity and added bonuses help keep formats evolving and give designers room to breathe. It's too bad this card is chock full of meaningless flavor text, but at the very least now I can tell people to talk to the hand again. I had really been missing that.









Finally, we get to see the only Fuse card that I think is properly costed. This perfectly combines Shatter and Demistify. I love me some Hullbreach, but I do think it was undercosted, especially for a common. That's probably why I love it so much in the first place.

Solid removal for junk. In the proper colors for these effects. This is a victory for mechanics and doesn't have any glaring flavor inconsistencies. That is all you can really ask for out of a Magic card.









Well that's all folks. There was some good stuff in there if you ask me. I'll be back to finish the final segment by looking at the utility cards and mana producers. GG.

Reviewing Dragon's Maze Part 1: Threats

Hey there evrabuddy. It's your old Grampa Growth here. And it's come back around to that time where we get some shiny new cards to play with.

Dragon's Maze may be a small set, but is it chock full of the good stuff? Let's dive in and find out!

I will discuss cards as they relate to casual formats, mostly EDH. I am not going to review every card, only cards that I feel are going to have a relevant impact on that format. Each day I will discuss all the new cards that fall into a particular category: threats, answers, and utility/mana. I will not talk about reprints.

Today were going to be running through the non-legendary threat cards. Threats are cards that win the game. They don't facilitate function. They kill your opponent. 'Finishers' 'Win cons' 'beaters'- these are threats.

So this is a thing. Or kind of a thing at least. Token decks exist so this might find a home somewhere, but I can't really think of many situations where I'd rather have this instead of a Geist-Honored Monk. A card which I already think is a bit too weak to cut it in EDH. Not being able to blink or copy the Scion and pump out more tokens is really disappointing. Why do this? In what format is flipping your five drop ruining the game? Also, flavor question: Vitu-ghazi was a land. Its children are creatures. What uhh...I mean how did....
Also, it is just uncommon, but it's children are rare. Shouldn't unique things be rare by default?







This card is 100% nostalgia, 0% function. It doesn't do anything flashy. It doesn't generate any advantage. All it does is beat down. Which it does somewhat efficiently, but it is awfully mana intensive for its size. For 6 mana a turn you get an unblockable 8 points of smash and protection from one instance of shenanigans. I am not going to write it off yet, but I am not holding my breath. I think you can get a better deal in your blue deck.











I am not sure this counts as a threat. I am not sure it counts as a utility creature either since you likely draw approximately zero cards off of it in the average game. This is not Bob. Bob is good. This is silly. Like fake Chinese medicine. If you plan on being Hellbent every game, you are probably planning on losing a bunch of those games.

Peoples exhibit #953 on why flavor text needs to be removed from cards. Puns. For clever, but unfunny bastards like me.











So let me get this straight. You think that, your deck, one of the most powerful decks in the format, spends its nights beating scrubs to a pulp with its token army and your plan is to Extort this person? Good luck.

Batman references aside, this card is a bad idea. Do you have a bunch of creatures? Attack your opponent to death. Can you not break through your opponent's defenses because of a ground stall? Wipe the board. What kind of game state would it take for this to be good? Cast Pontiff. Cast Storm Herd. DON'T ATTACK. Cast a whole bunch of buyback spells...? Get it out of here. And what is with the Black cards in this set and having big butts?

I do not like it. And I cannot lie. I do not like them Sam I am. BOOM TRIPLE JOKE STACK. References on references on references tadpole, illusions of opulence.

Also, what does blight have to do with teaching your minions to blackmail people?

BOOM the rare version of Karoo Meerkat. It has been a long time coming friends, but it's finally here. I know all my faithful compatriots have been patiently waiting for our moments to celebrate. This is a triumph. A moment we all can share...

I am not sure how useful Protection from Blue is in any format, really, but an uncounterable Flash bear is bound to show up somewhere. I don't know what EDH decks would even want this and don't think it will will have much impact on EDH despite being a good card.

Magic cards have art. Some of that art is meant to be provocative. About half of the time it contains images of violence. Rarely does that bother me. This number gets to me a little. Look at that thing. That is a predator. It looks like The Thing. I prefer my drakes shaken...not skewered. Dang, I should write flavor text.



It's got FLASH OH OH! Well, technically it doesn't, but the ol' can o' worms here is pretty spicy. There isn't a critical mass of playable Populate cards in EDH yet, so making a token is mostly just worse than having an actual creature. Getting creatures out of the graveyard is easier than getting instants. There are plenty of 'non-token' clauses on copy effects and targeting restrictions and bounce effects are a real thing.

Still this is a pretty sweet little card. It is sure to be good against planewalkers, which is a huge plus and really makes this card more of an answer than a threat. Though I'll be the first to admit the lines are really getting blurry these days.







Baron Samedi here sure is something. I am not quite sure what that something is yet...but it might be a real thing. Pro Black and White is the real deal for protecting your stuff. Lifelink is also the real deal. Helping you dig back out of the hole Black decks tend to get in with all their Greed.

As for this big sloppy blob of text along the bottom, I don't know what to think. If your opponent is at 10, you probably don't need a 10/10 flier....but it sure couldn't hurt!











This might not look like a real card, but I think it is about as real as any other Boros card so I may as well talk about it.

If you have tech like Fanning the Flames or Searing Touch you can kind off go off with this guy. Five power for five mana isn't a bad deal. Heck it is only an uncommon, how much better do we really want it to get? It's too bad that it isn't a combo with Hostility, but they are similar enough that you would want them in the same kinds of decks. And Hostility is sweet.









This minotaur on the other hand is not a card. At all. Get the previous minotaur to light this minotaur on fire.


















I don't really understand why someone would design this card. Or how it got into print.

I do, however, like it quite a bit. I can think of some things that I want to name with this: Capsize, Mindslaver, Spellburst.

This card is a tough one to evaluate, but it is certainly better than it looks. Be warned though: when you see this card, it is there for a reason...and it probably means their deck is broken.

I know it doesn't seem productive to question the council of the absolute, but why can't they stop creatures? I guess that's the job for the Council of the Exceptional, or whatever nominal superlative exists as the logical next step.





Debt to the Deathless...is soooo dumb. Exsanguinate is VERY GOOD. It can do a whole heckuva lotta damage and is so completely snapped in multiplayer. The biggest Exsanguinate I have pulled off was for x=17, Killing three people and gaining me 40+ life in the process.

With this, it would have been x=15, but that would hit for 30 a head, and would have instantly (or sorceryly) killed all of my opponents. This card is the noodles. Keep your counterspells ready kids. You're going to need them once this mess hits the bricks.

Also. This art  is...unnerving. Two in one set; I must be going soft. Just imagine being the janitor in that place.






It is obvious to me that this card was nerfed somewhere in development. It reminds me so much of Vendilion Clique. I think Clique got a little too far out of balance and they didn't want to make the same mistake again. I could see this card costing three and having a major impact in legacy and modern. It certainly has a place in EDH. Any format where Brainstorm is legal. Yea, that's right. Let that sink in. I'll draw the three cards, get the beater in play, and you can go ahead and put those cards on top of your library. GG's by GG.

Does anybody else think that this guy looks like a young Anthony Kiedis? I wonder if artists ever try to do that. It is illegal to use a prominent person's likeness in the card art, but you never know. Sneak in a Michael Jackson every once in a while.





This is the kind of creature your Grandpa likes to see. It copies the best guy...and keeps copying it.

Clone effects have the potential for automatic card advantage already. This is just gravy. For the bargain up-charge of 1G. Yes, Keenan, I would like fries with that VALUE MEAL.

UG is super over-powered. Clones with added functionality are inherently under-costed...pretty much no matter what they cost. Check it out: I pay X for a creature. That is a one time transaction. You pay 6 for the same creature, no matter what X was, and, AND you generate extra returns on that investment every turn for as long as it stays alive. This guy is the annuity of creatures. So Invest and Multiply.





Ral is juiced. Those of you who played Duels of the planewalkers are familiar with this guy. You probably remember that his deck was awful in that game. I am glad to see everything got sorted out for his major league debut. As a matter of fact, all of the decks in duels are terrible. Maybe something just gets lost in translation.

Anyhoo, I really like how this guy plays. It rewards aggressive play. Letting you tap blockers, but it can also play defensive, giving your dudes a targeted pseudo Vigilance. It plays extremely well with tap-to-activate abilities, which Blue and Red have a bunch of. It can also act as a mana ramp, which is awesome and very powerful in this color combination. That is a lot of versatility for a +1 loyalty ability. It builds towards a powerful ultimate, but doesn't generate insurmountable card advantage on the way there.

This is a good spot for planeswalkers to occupy and a model for future cards to follow. Ral is definitely a win on that front. It has a cheap minus ability that helps protect it from small threats. Another check in the 'W' column.

Let's check out this ultimate...take 2.5 extra turns on average? Don't mind if I do. It is almost certainly going to win tight games and it will make a tremendous momentum swing in games where you are behind...or it might not. I usually hate gimmicky nonsense like coin-flipping, but I think it fits right in here. It isn't too silly or too strict. You are almost guaranteed an extra turn which is usually a big advantage when you already have a planeswalker out.

In short: Bart Scott can't wait.



YAY another recursive creature that we can slap Skullclamp on! I am so excited. Can't you tell how excited I am? Who wants cards to be fair...let's just make the busted cards more busted. That should fix everything right?

I am really only mad when the cards like this aren't very good in their own right. I will probably play this card a lot. I will never being doing anything fair with it. I realize design doesn't have any reason to pay attention to skullclamp, but I feel like they are just softballing it now. Not every Black x/1 needs to climb out of the graveyard.


 






I liked Magic when there was only one Hydra. Nowadays they just hit the same chords too many times. Magic is turning into a Ramones song. Heck its turning into the whole dang anthology.

This Hydra iteration doesn't mess around though. Double strike is not a joke. It actually really hurts. It has permanent actual firebreathing too. It just keeps eating more and more until...Doom blade. Heheh sweet Hydra bro.












I guess I'd prefer that I didn't have to discard my hand, but if nobody is going to have a hand then I would prefer to be the guy with the big monster in play.

It fights Sphinx's Revelation pretty well, so that is a plus. It isn't so much of a cost, since both players have to bin their hands at the same time, so all you really want is to be binning less cards than your opponent. They get the first crack at a fresh card, but again you do have the 6/4 in play and presumably you have constructed your deck to take advantage of being Hellbent.

At the very least have a plan for getting to 0 cards in hand in an efficient and productive manner. Cheap creatures, burn, discard, 'tings like dat.





So Cone of Tokens was a pretty good idea back in Worldwake. It made sense and felt valuable at cmc 5. Now we get the big boy version...perfect for the big stupid slow format where seven drops get played eh?

I think this is a bit of an upgrade in a big mana format. The 1/1 isn't a token and can be bounced, duped, or blinked for huge value. The 2/2 has Vigilance. The 3/3 isn't much different, but for the bargain up charge of 1G we get a 4/4 Trampler. 1G seems like the price you want to be paying these days for the combo meal.









Uhhh jeeez. A creature with p/t equal to the number of creatures you control costs at least 3. Now you get it for free and sometimes you get more than one of them? Deal. Speaking of deals, this creature is the real one. Play this card early, often, and whenever you get the chance. You are looking at a multi-format all-star. Powerhouse. Now smashing face at a table near you.

I love the art on this card. The central figure isn't clearly defined, but has obvious boundaries. It is a super cool elk man. The perspective makes him look tall and regal. A true force of nature; all of its beauty and all of its excellence.







Uncle Landdrops thinks this card is going to be banned in Commander. I might not agree, but I do think it is powerful.

It can only battle solo and it has no natural evasion so I think it is going to miss a lot more often than it hits. If it goes unanswered you will almost certainly win, but that is what a threat is supposed to do.

Granted, very few threats actually represent one turn clocks, but this is a good threat. It kills fast. I think most often you will see this guy get stuck on defense in a ground stall. He makes a good blocker to hold down the fort while your air forces get in the beats.

Flavor question: This guy could obviously win a straight up fight against Rakdos. Why isn't he in charge? Maybe that isn't how they roll on that side of town, but that is absolutely how they make decisions in the Gruul territories. He should jump ship and become the big cheese in his own guild. He must not be ambitious. No demon is ever ambitious...

Well here we are at the end. And I saved the best for last.

That was a lie. I did not save the best for last. Tricked you, didn't I?

This is what I would like to call...risky. I don't usually play nonsense like this. Why have your threat backfire when you could just play a threat that doesn't ever backfire? There are some pretty interesting implications for this card though: Mana Flare and Heartbeat of Spring are cards.

You see them every so often in EDH games. Typically, it means people are planning on doing something broken or they have way too much faith in humanity. Now, in certain decks, Mana Flare is totally worth 3. So that means that you're getting a 7/5 for 1G. Giga jeez. The value of 1G is exploding. Pretty soon it will be tanking the Euro.

On the other hand, decks that play symmetrical mana doublers are typically only comfortable doing that because they are planning to combo kill you on the spot, somewhat mitigating the advantage they are giving you by advancing your mana. Decks that want to abuse this effect for the combo potential don't really care about having a creature laying around and paying extra mana for something you don't need just makes it harder to go off.

Well that's all for today kids!
I'll be taking over TGZ all week with this stuff, so be sure to tune in Tuesday when we go over all the "Answers."  GG. 

The Stack #6- Pickin' Up (Beat)Sticks

Whaddup Zoners-

It is a fairly typical Saturday morning, so it's time for your favorite weekly round of judgments on TGZ.

As promised, we've got the other five Dragon's Maze Guild Champions to talk about. We've got Weird Wizards, Vanilla Elfs, and all kinds of big nonsense to discuss.

I would've had Lou Bega bless this one with another verse, but I think you'll soon see why he took a look at most of these and went, "I would not Mambo with these bitches."

So if you'd like to see the ones he did Mambo with, check out last week's installment here.

Alright, well, I know it's Prerelease weekend, and you're counting down seconds now, so no memes, no gimmicks, we'll just get to it.

THIS IS THE STACK!!!!

"Melek-a-liki-maka" is Wizard's way
to say Merry Christmas to Spells.

Johnny Confidant- THUMBS UP
With a few cards that interact with the top-card I like that something  of interest finally arises. Lands on top, Nice. Creature on top, sweet. Instant or Sorcery, then double it? awesome!

Uncle Landdrops-THUMBS UP
I like this card, and I hope it inspires some uncommon deck designs in EDH. I expect nothing less from a Weird Wizard.

Venser's Journalist- THUMBS UP (For the most part)
This guy will make your Capsizes better and your Twincasts useless, unless you're casting Mizzium Mortars, then casting Twincast in response. Melek is great in terms of giving you an extra card in your virtual hand, but I think his flavor is one that will take some work building around, not to mention you only get a 2/4 without flying for six mana. Izzet players will love him.

Grandpa Growth- THUMBS UP
So, in talking about whats-his-face of Hull Clade I mentioned I like when R&D explores the concept of an individual card as long as the idea still feels original. I like this guy for the same reason, but the originality of Future Sight variants is wearing pretty thin. Particularly when the flavor doesn't make one lick of sense. Is he seeing the future and and splitting reality in two like alternate timeline theories?

 
Venser's Journalist- NOT SURE
Now this elf is not terribly exciting and I am disappointed in Wizards for making this a rare and a seven-drop. However, the possibility of building a deck only utilizing creature tokens exists, and she'd find her niche in that deck. For me, though, she can't offer much.

Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS DOWN

For this last Guild Champ, all I could think when they spoiled her was, "That's a Huge Bitch!"
For you cinephiles, yes, this is a quote from the very lackluster Rob Schneider film, "Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo," which was also a huge disappointment. There's way too much space in this textbox for such a big Elf. Not sure why you'd pick her before any of the other GW legends. Jasmine Boreal included. Bad Ability is Bad, erego Bad Card is Bad.

Johnny Confidant- THUMBS NEUTRAL
Disappointed once again from what the book version of her was to what she is on card stock. Beyond that there are just too many things wrong with this card. GG made note of 5/7 for 7 Cmc which is bad for just a token damage prevention. While she alone would be bad for commander her pairing with a Ghave, Guru of Spores Token madness Edh deck could make good use of her. while I agree that she is a tough cost for one ability (Hell Sigarda, Host of Herons is a 5/5 for 5 with Flying, Hexproof and global sac prevention) she just isn't a "bad" card. Girl just need's to discover her place in the world :)

Grandpa Growth- THUMBS DOWN
Wizards has a hard time appropriately costing big creatures. A 5/7 for 7 isn't really a thing. Sexy Hexy is a common and it isn't even a particularly strong common. This is rare and has a bunch of silly rider text. And the flavor text is silly.  Uncle Landdrops, we should have saved the good legends for the second article. There are only two good things about this card: Bansai and big ti-I mean...trees.

Battalion on a lone Champ leads me
to one conclusion- Boros. Gonna. Cheat.

Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS UP
He's cheaper, quicker, faster, stronger, Un-Doom-Blade-able. You know, everything that Daft Punk says, which should allow you a nice setup opportunity without all the targeted removal that'll come with her. This card makes me want to play Boros, which I haven't done since I failed so miserably with Razia in the early days of my EDH life.

Venser's Journalist- THUMBS UP
I have to agree with UL on this, Tajic begs to be handed a sword...or eight. This card has mad appeal in terms of Commander damage, and all you really need to make him effective is Trample or Flying, easy to do with all the equipments that exist in the MTG world.

Grandpa Growth- THUMBS DOWN
Wizards has a hard time appropriately costing things that are indestructible. This guy is White and could actually benefit from Vigilance. Of course he doesn't have it. Flavor judge wants to know why the Boros would send in a champion who needs a bunch of friends to be good. He is, in fact, going to 'run the maze alone.' I am pretty sure the military arm of Ravnica would employ better strategy.

Johnny Confidant- THUMBS DOWN
Something that's oddly similar to Odric, Master Tactician only Red with Built in Indestructibility.

Depressed Stares right back at ya, gurl.

Grandpa Growth- THUMBS DOWN
Wizards has a hard time appropriately costing irrelevant crappy cards that no one really cares about. Vigilance is the Schrodinger's Cat of (not quantum) mechanics. There is basically no predicting which creatures will have it. Or the Spanish Inquisition, when those guys show up, no one expects it. OR cops in New York: only around when you don't need one. That's three valid metaphors for one terrible card. I don't get paid enough for this.

Venser's Journalist- NOT SURE
I know lately I haven't been sure about many things: the meaning of life, next idea for a novel, where to get a paying job that I won't hate. But Wizards shouldn't be making me more uncertain about cards. This one in paricular has two really good things about it and two really bad things about it. The good: protection from creatures is awesome on a general and makes for a great win con. Vigilance, although not always necessary, is nice in the event that you're running low on defenders. The bad: she's only a 4/4 and you have to pay 5WB to play her. At least give her double strike and an ability that actually does stuff (Drogskol Reaver, you are my favorite 7-drop 3/5). Her flavor is not something that can be incorporated into a valid strategy; it serves more as a "don't hit me" sign. Teysa, what happened to you?


Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS DOWN
Teysa's trying to be Vish Kal, but we all know she can't. Mechanically, it's also contradicting. There's no focus on this card, and it's a big bummer for people who actually like Teysa 1.0, in my opinion. From all angles, this card repulses me in every way. Really disappointing.

Johnny Confidant- THUMBS NEUTRAL 
First off I'm a bit confused with the wording as to who gets the 1/1 token. Vigilance and pro creatures is pretty neat in my book plus adding Dread's ability to it is fine by me. Unfortunately her previous form provides such a good control field and i'd more than likely run 1.0 if at all.

It puts the mushrooms on his skin
or else he gets the hose again.

Johnny Confidant-  THUMBS DOWN
Scavenge is something I didn't see as EDH potential, Exiling a card unless its Misthollow Griffin just seems wasteful. So giving every creature scavenge globalizes the problem. Unless your playing this guy to dump creatures into your graveyard to exile them i can't see him in play at all.

Grandpa Growth- THUMBS DOWN
Wizards has a hard time appropriately costing cards that interact with the graveyard. Flavor foul number four on the day: I don't see not one scar. Check out that art though, this dude looks like he just ripped the spine out of some poor joe's back Predator-style. I think it is interesting to see how card art has become more serious in style than it used to be. Compare to Golgari Grave-Troll. Var-lolz doesn't look silly. The humor is much more subtle now. Does he like mushrooms on his pizza I wonder...?

Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS UP
Art-wise, Varolz looks like a sweet Bowser movie
make-up for a live-action Mario Bros. flick. Ability-wise, he's almost as likeable, though he's similar to Skullbriar on the GB Totem pole. Hopefully, they can be friends so your Skullbriar can win super-fast. Varolz is probably better as a supporter Legend than Commander, but I don't see why you wouldn't want to build him. He looks like a total badass so I would pay the Troll Toll. There are ways to combo out and get quick kills with him, like with Death's Shadow and Phyrexian Dreadnought.


Venser's Journalist- THUMBS UP
Finally, a card that has self-synergy: just add chumps. Like any good troll, he can regenerate; but wait there's more! His regenerate cost actually helps the first scavenge ability out. Really, this troll only needs other creatures in order to be a beast. That and Rancor. Rancor belongs in every green deck, so sayeth the green oracles.

VJ's right, and the same goes for every article where we talk about big green-style nonsense beaters.

So ENTER RANCOR!



Anyway, we've got some really great stuff for you this week on TGZ. With Dragon's Maze out at the end of next week, GG's been writing up a hilarious set review, and it will probably take the place of my little Tuesday column.

I promise you, it'll be worth it.


So tune in Tomorrow when GG kicks off this three-part series on Dragon's Maze cards. It really will be worth your time.

Try to check out TGZ on a couple of our off days later in the week too. I'm not really sure how it's going to impact the schedule, so we might be giving you a few special posts this week.
 
Till then, don't steal from Sebulba, let the Wookie Win, shut down all the trash compactors on the detention level, use the force as necessary, and for the Love of God, don't let Jar-Jar have any more
screen time.

And Good Luck With Prereleases!
Solve The Maze, Save The World!

-UL

Tops Down//Bottoms Up: Tripled-Threats

Welcome to Thursday, the new home to EDH process and construction theory. Here at "Tops down // Bottoms up" I'll be taking you through two of the most common deck assembly methods along with the individual strategies of each.

Today we're going Bottoms up with Melek, Izzet Paragon the weird wizard. I can already feel the wheels turning from the art alone. I mean, how many guilds created a champion to run the maze?

Full art Game-day awesomeness!!

At 4UR for 2/4, Melek "izzen't" exactly a mid game threat. He has no evasion, no built-in protection, is obviously Legendary, and doesn't have a relevant battlefield trigger in or out.

Like a true red-blue man, his strength comes from his
three abilities.

First ability gives us an effect similar to  Future Sight, which is somewhat of a "drawback." For most players, is free, relevant information dictating what's to come. So there will be no surprises, save timing.

Our second line of text gives us the end game here, which is Instants and sorceries. This is a nice color pie addition, considering that casting stuff off the top has been mostly a Green boy's club recently, with Garruk's Horde and Oracle of Mul Daya being much more relevant and splashy when compared to Magus of the Future and the previously mentioned card he's named after.

Melek's third ability though is where we get to talk actual card advantage, because this is the place our Weird Wizard friend is going to shine. Getting copies of spells could and should be a big deal. Since the ability triggers at the point of casting, Counters become less relevant to him, which seems pretty good to me. Short of a Flusterstorm, Counterflux, or the ever-elusive Mindbreak Trap, getting to work with spell-spells seems like a relatively comfortable game.

But doubling the spells isn't enough. Rather than make him a Commander, we're actually going to give him a dance partner to further his casting frenzy. Cause double-casting "all the way across the sky" isn't enough. We need to go to almost Triple-Casting.

What does it mean? Well, it means we're gonna lead with Riku of Two Reflections.

How fortunate that it loves Instants and
sorceries

Entertaining the Melek focus, we'll add "Scry" as the core effect to this design. Scry was introduced in Fifth Dawn and included this neat little Enchantment, Eyes of the Watcher. For 2U and (1) for each spell you cast you get to set up your next spell for Melek to copy and since we pay extra for entwine, kicker, and buyback spells, Eyes of the Watcher should be no problem.

Having a creature like Galvanoth who allows you to cast the top card if it's a sorcery or instant without paying will trigger Melek to double it. So multiplying direct damage spells like Lava Axe can lead to a quick end for an opponent without protection, which normally don't see play in EDH due to cost and effect ratio. Milling is another cool tactic that's much stronger in U/B, but doubling a Traumatize doesn't seem too shabby either.

Since Melek and Riku are both needed for the Triple casting we need them out, protected and working quickly. Seasoned EDH players know nothing good stays on the field for too long, but optimally, tutoring for Melek and putting spells on the top of your library with Mystical Tutor help bring your combo down fast. if you have to leave them on the field for a bit artifacts like Swiftfoot Boots, and Lightning Greaves provide protection temporarily while Asceticism grants Hexproof and select Regeneration. Leaving your combo pieces out in the open for too long usually ends badly so making sure you have the protection before hand or the game winning spells at the ready is advised.

Moving outward from the core we look at the "mantle," which will be the part of the deck that's more fluid and interactive. Essentially it's going to be removal and counterspells with a few select creatures to keep our hand afloat and recur spells. This is what makes up about 50% of the deck and where you find players metagame "staples" as well as personal favorites.

Melek's mantle would have other "future sight" type cards such as Oracle of Mul Daya to move land cards or Lurking Predators to cheap creatures into play from the library to both thin the deck and perhaps find an instant or sorcery to cast. Adding Flash-ability enablers like Leyline of Anticipation or Alchemist's Refuge can keep the pressure on your opponent while they wonder what you might have waiting for them because sometimes having a good bluff can keep you alive.

Working farther out brings us to the Top, or the "crust". Riku, of Two Reflections likes both creatures and spells to copy. Since spells alone don't bring the game to an end having multiple versions of Non-legendary creatures can overwhelm your opponent while also multiplying "Enter the Battlefield" effects. Doubling Season or it's more affordable version Parallel Lives triple on the creatures you cast by granting additional tokens. Getting 3 Aether Adept's to bounce threats or blockers out of the way grant you tempo advantage. Getting Eternal Witness two sisters can dig you out of a hole or set up your winning hand.

Wrapping up here we get to flip this right side up and check everything Top Down. Do we have good synergy with Riku and Melek together? sure. Can the deck survive on its own? Absolutely. Will the desired effect work in real time? no doubt. The Core-Mantle-Crust theme for Melek works well together with the support of creatures that like Sorcery and Instant spells, like being copied and keep the heat off the main desire of the deck. I expect Melek, Izzet Paragon to find his way into a few Riku decks with some Scry mechanics fueling some combo's, I know I will!

Join me next week when I go over basic color theories spanning from single to the tri-colors in a two part series called Color Theory! See you then!

- Johnny Confidant

UL's Favorites: We're Blue, Da Ba Dee Da Ba Dudes

Yo listen up, here's a story... Just kidding.

Sure, I make stupid references, but we're not going to use Eiffel 65 to mind control you. I won't go that low. Lou Bega was high-brow.  Hearing this song everywhere in the 90's was enough though.

Sorry if you've never been traumatized by the so-called "Wizards of Italian Techopop." We'll save that for another day. Preferably one when you've got your dancin' pants on.

But seriously, here's a story about Landdrops, who doesn't live in a blue world on the regular, but occasionally dabbles with Islands, and is known to play a counterspell or two every once in a while when the police have all been trapped below Gotham in the tunnels and the world needs protecting; or, when he just really wants to play Cryptic Command.

So on these days, when the world is in fact much more blue, these are the creatures that I like to battle with. I'm kinda hoping maybe you'll like them too. I think they're worth a shot.

10. Kederekt Leviathan

He's like The Rock, except he looks
like an actual rock. But you can see
the resemblance, right?

Sometimes playing goofy stuff pays off.

Back in Zenny when I first got into Magic, I played this silly Quest For Ula's Temple deck, filled with copies of Wrexial, Lorthos, Inkwell Leviathans, Kraken Hatchlings, Shoal Serpent, Serpent of the Endless Sea, and this guy.

Switching formats, this card is almost always somewhere near my deck construction when I'm considering blue and I don't have a way to handle enchantments or artifacts, which is most of the time in mono-blue or in dark Dimir colors.

Even without Unearth, he's great. The ability to do this twice makes it a pretty excellent addition to any blue deck though, because it really helps slow the game down for re-builds and more chances to counter threats. Getting damage in with blue has to be done when you can, and sometimes this is the finishing touch you need at the end of a grindy, blue control game.

                                                                                                9. Sphinx of Uthuun

Fact or Fiction, All Day Err' Day.

I've been playing this card a lot recently in Animar and now in my Blue Braids design, and I love it.

Having another copy of Fact or Fiction has been a huge source of card advantage. In Animar, I basically cast him for UU, and Blue Braids has ways to get him for free.

Casting him for 7 isn't bad, especially when you've built your deck right. Getting any combination of five cards have put serious constrain on my opponents. GG always said there's really no such thing as a bad FoF, and more and more I find this statement to be true. Making your opponents pick their poison I find is as close to being fairly fun and interactive while not hyperextending into abuse. 

Having flying and being a 5/6 is relevant in the world of Hellkites, but it's not the thing that really is impressive. Getting cards and a nice beater, however, can be.

So start playing this. And FoF, if you're not.

 8. Diluvian Primordial

I'ma da Pope.

As most of the regular Zoners know, Grandpa's got a bias for blue and all its cruelty.

So when he said Diluvian tied for being the "best" Primordial with Sepulchral, I disagreed because of Sylvan, but put it to the test anyway.

I've played it a couple times now, and I do really like it. Though I'm not high on the art, but I can't deny there's a lot of fun to be had with this card.

They definitely fixed the places where they went wrong with Chancellor of the Spires. But if you like two-ofs, go ahead and get its spiny-looking, less-powerful partner. It's worth it if you want to play a "more fun" style of blue game.
                                                                                                 7. Phyrexian Ingester

It's like the movie Teeth, but with Legs.

This is another creature that earned starting spots in Braids and Animar. Cause getting this for free, even close to free, is pretty great.

I love Pongify and Rapid Hybridization, the former's new ridiculously technical Frog Lizard sidekick, so Ingester is just my extra support when I can't play Path to Exile and Swords.

Most control decks probably don't want to be tapping out for dudes anywhere before turn 6 anyway, so paying the "Troll Toll" to cast this bad boy isn't awful, and you should get a big dude in most cases.

For me, I like this card better than Control Magic or similar enchantments. Eating a creature tends to have that effect, and I find it's stylistically more "original" than stealing a creature.

 6. Mulldrifter

I like the way he's kinda smirking.
He's either nice, evil, or the evil kinda
nice. I can't decide yet.

Visually, this card seems pretty Dr. Seuss-meets-Dr. Moreau.

This flying fish (say that five times fast) Elemental is pretty cool though. He can be the Divination you need to make land drops, or he can be two cards and a chump blocker for some pesky flyer.

Animar loves 1-for-2s, and he eats Mulldrifter up for breakfast. I've used him in a variety of decks for years now, and I'll be using him for years to come.

This is as simple and straightforward as they come.

And getting a copy is as easy as reading "One Fish, Two Fish," and after you play it, you're gonna wish you did get a copy when you were 4 or whatever. What age do kids learn to read these days?
                                                                                                5. Drift of Phantasms

Drifty, honestly, doesn't ever get cast in my decks. However, being a 3 CMC Transmuter means that he's still doing quite a bit of work. And the art is fairly badass, if you're into live-action role-playing that involves being part of a Biker Gang (I call this BGLARP-ing; I don't want to do this, but I still hope it'll catch on.).

This is a great card to create a mini package around in any deck. There are plenty of relevant 3-cost cards I like to plan this card around, and I've been doing so for years now.

Recently, he got a slot in The Braids-y Bunch so I could get Proteus Staff, but I have other targets too. There are also plenty of other options here. In Momir Vig, he's a dude you can play, or a dude you can pitch to get your Cloudstone or Equilibrium. I've had him for counterspells in other decks too.

Whatever you do though, make sure you transmute him for more card advantage. Like Blue Sun's, Crucible of Worlds, even Divination. Trust me. It's just better this way.

4. Treasure Mage

What am I doin? Nothin' man.
Just kickin' it wit muh pal
BLUE EYES, WHITE BEATDOWN!

Treasure Mage has become one of my favorite cards. Recently, I got my hands on a couple copies of this sweet GameDay promo, and I don't think I want to look back.

This dude is bonafide money. He gets me all the things that I want in a game. Duplicant, Steel Hellkite, and Caged Sun is a short-list of great targets. Etherium-Horn Sorcerer is part of the great package I built for him in Animar.

If you're more adventurous, there's plenty of other useful cards like Contagion Engine, Wurmcoil Engine, even Darksteel Colossus. Well, Blightsteel, I guess. That's the new "unfair" card.

Don't worry though Darksteel. I still love you.
                                                                                                3. Elgaud Shieldmate

Shieldmate has been really a great card in my Animar deck, and I think it's a great addition to any 2-plus colored decks playing Voltron-dedicated strategies. Bruna or Enchantment-Voltron Ertai the Corrupted are the most immediate beneficiaries that come to mind, but I'm sure there are other decks that could use her help.

She fits on a lot of mana curves, and with a lonely U mana symbol, into any 2+ colored deck. And she's a cheap card to pick up if you don't wanna spend 2 dollars on another lightning greaves, or require another copy.





2. Merfolk Looter

The Merfs is something I've been playing in almost every single blue deck I've ever had, even before I was playing EDH. The incremental card advantage is just unfair. Even getting one card deeper into your deck is often a difference maker in games. I've lost a lot of games to GG on this card alone.

He can do it all. Sometimes, it's just a discard outlet for Sedris, Bruna, or even (dare I say it) a Mimeoplasm deck. Any Reanimating or graveyard-abusing deck will love this though. And The Mimeoplasm's still super-lame. Sorry. Had to say it.

I actually try to play this and Thought Courier, its Wizard counterpart, whenever I can. If you have to pick one, I have recently found that this art is a "loot" cooler than the newer versions.

However, tribal Azami, or any deck where you're running wizards and a Riptide Laboratory might mean you have to run Waldo aka Thought Courier. There is however, no alternate art for Waldo yet- Especially one as cool as a Steampunk-Looking Sea-Dragon robbing an unconscious woman underwater. Cruel, but super-sweet. It's one of those GG-abusive cards we can both agree is disgustingly good.

                                                                                                1. Looter il-Kor

Looter il-Kor is number one on the list because he does one thing better than Merfolk Looter. Get in the Red Zone.

We can talk for days about damage theories in EDH- when to attack, when not to. However, this guy is all downhill, and does essentially the same thing as Looter.

Most folks will even laugh, take a point, and let you sit there and straight up lose to getting an extra card. Sure, you sacrifice the instant speed of Merfolk Looter, but I tend to be in a lot of games where Life Total is relevant, and blue tends to be pretty hands-off until Turn 8.

This fact, in my opinion, justifies playing the guy, especially against people who like to play Luminarch Ascension and pretend it's not going to wreck your life.

With Shadow, the damage trigger is almost a certainty. I seriously don't know anyone in my meta who's playing dudes to block this, cause there's no point, and they're not going to waste a removal spell. So take the chance. Pick up a couple copies of this and Looter, and see how much better your blue deck gets.

Remember to come back to TGZ Thursday for new writer Johnny Confidant's article where he goes "Tops Down//Bottom's Up" with Melek.

Also, we've got the second half of our Dragon's Maze Guild Champs to talk about on this week's installment of "The Stack." Yeah, I know these ones aren't as exciting, but not all those cards can be Ruric Thar, apparently.

And stay tuned for Next Week- I've got another Repay In Kind Winner, and I hope to get the alt art done by then. Till then, Remember-

Friends Don't Let Friends Play The Mimeoplasm.
(Trademarked. All Rights Reserved.)

-UL