Unsure about what the readers want, we've had quite a bit of dialogue about what might be the way to keep The Stack being fun and interesting.
And after a few days of getting all of my radical changes rejected, we just decided we're going to get (slightly) more nutty with our topics.
ALSO- we'd like to bring in guest opinions for future episodes of The Stack. So if you're interested in being part of our Saturdays here at TGZ, please email me at unclelanddrops@gmail.com.
That said, today's special Stack dish is being served up with this preamble:
Which creature would you most like to cheat in off an activated Quest for Ula's Temple? or, What is your favorite Octopus, Kraken, Serpent, or Leviathan?
The answers are all here, so let's see what's good.
So in the immortal words of Liam "Zeus" Neeson, THIS IS THE STACK. I mean,
VENSER'S JOURNALIST'S PICK
This card has always been on my list of Creatures that Deserve Better Abilities. Aside from being an avid fan of the Azorius Guild and flicker mechanics, I'm also an octopus lover (guess what my favorite Beatles song is), and of the three octopuses in the MTG universe, you'd think that Lorthos the Freshmaker would have more to contribute than paying 8 mana to freeze 8 permanents.
Okay, so tapping 8 things down for essentially two turns is really badass and can be helpful (or annoying), but he's already an 8-drop 8/8, so I'd think his ability would be cheaper or he would be able to do more cool things. Plus, for a Blue creature, he doesn't have much "sneak value," like Islandwalk or activated abilities that do not require an attack.
My first chance actually playing the Freshmaker proved very bad for me because I couldn't use his ability without leaving myself without mana for responses. He managed to do exactly 8 damage for the seven turns he was out on the field. Heck, the mana cost alone would necessitate Quest for Ula's Temple, since hard-casting him is not always feasible in a game of Commander.
So, Wizards, this is my plea to you: come out with better Octopus creature types so that I do not have to admit that Lorthos is the best cephalopod out of Ula's Temple.
Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS UP
Normally, I'm very much in on the card nickname jokes, but I feel fairly ostracized from Lorthos' connection/obsession with Mentos. I don't really get it, and though I do come up with a lot of nicknames that I think most people wouldn't get either, this one is just too baffling. I feel like there's supposed to be some actual connection that makes this funnier, but then it doesn't.
Anywho, I'm pretty excited because I was promised this week that there will be a Lorthos deck coming to a playgroup near me. I have no idea what's going on, or where the parents are actually at in this circumstance, but I'm interested in seeing where it's going.
Grandpa Growth- THUMBS DOWN
Have I cast this card? Yes. I wasn't even embarrassed. Even though I have played it, I won't give it a thumbs up. This was really the last of a dying breed for me. Once the Eldrazi came out, Lorthos' fifteen minutes were up. It is way easier to make an arbitrary amount of colorless mana than it is to make three Blue mana, even in a Blue deck. That should tell you something about what I think of the 'big Blue' Creature theme. Now, if you are chasing after a magical moment where you get to totally humiliate your friends for that awesome one-timer story, it is hard to go wrong with this guy. It, as stated, is an octopus. You have to feel violated when you're getting ruffed up by tentacles. Cue raging anime fans.
GRANDPA GROWTH'S PICK
So...this isn't really a thing that I would ever do. I am not saying this is a bad strategy, but it is one that I tend to stay away from. For the sake of fun though, I am going to fully embrace this topic. Assuming we are playing a deck full of huge things we don't necessarily want them to clog up our draws and make our early game bad. We still need a sufficient density of cards to put counters on the quest card AND a fatty to throw down when we "get there". I would like to have an Inkwell Leviathan to throw in, but Grozoth could be just as good. Putting this into play allows us to refill our hand with several Inkwells and potentially other copies of Grozoth as well. It is like a big Blue Squadron Hawk....that has Defender and Transmute. I don't know what I am doing here.
Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS UP
I can dig it. Obviously, the Ula's Temple deck is going to get us a couple of nonsense things, but this card does "a little bit" of damage in my group. There's a Nin, the Pain Artist deck in my meta that plays control until it can find a Dragonstorm to combo out. Grozoth is one of the many ways the guy has to get there, which I think is at least partially, if not wholly cheeky and original. I like it because there isn't anything else like it, which means it's a nice card to build around.
Here's the Nin Deck too, if you guys want to check it out: Jordanstorm!
UNCLE LANDDROPS' PICK
Well, I can't say it'd be my favorite thing to drop on an activated Quest for Ula's Temple, because I've actually never played it. Way back when, I actually built a 60-card Ula's Temple deck, so I do know a thing or two about it.
What I like about Trench Gorger is that we can scale its power. Greaves is probably really necessary for support when you go all-in exiling your lands on Trench Gorger, but it seems fun to have an alternative way to power up a creature.
I'd also like to point out that when you Gatherer search for all the things Ula's Temple puts into play, there are very few pieces of artwork that I feel really makes me "believe" a creature of this magnitude could be real. TG is one. Isleback Spawn is the other. You don't need to look too far to see a hokey-looking creature (cough Throw-Mo-Crates cough), but if you do, there are plenty amorphous blobs and oversized Barracudas for our topic this week. I was having this discussion the other day with a friend of mine about big sea creature artwork that's just so indiscriminate it doesn't make sense. Here, it's nice to see Leviathan, and feel it too.
Grandpa Growth- THUMBS UP
I haven't played this before, but I can appreciate what is going on here. You get a big threat now that demands an answer and you also have the promise of a very high threat density going forward. This marginal improvement in the quality of your draws will likely mean that you are going to win the game anyway, but it is nice that this bonus doesn't cost you a card as it comes tacked onto what would otherwise be a kind of silly Creature despite its massive proportions.
That's all we got for today. Remember to email me if you're interested in being a guest, or if you just have suggestion. We'll be back next week to our usual schedule with all new exciting stuff.
Until next time, remember that the only rules are O'Doyle Rules!
-UL/VJ/GG
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