The Most Overrated Commanders

Heya Zoners. It's your boy Landdrops here bringin' a fun little list for fun, controversy, and all things in between.

Much has changed towards my card philosophy these days. For example, much like my attitude toward guns, I no longer hate specific cards so much- just the way that people play them.

Still, there's some Legendary Creatures that I believe are incredibly annoying, not only because they're talked about on the Internet as if they're incredible/unstoppable, but because they're also so net-decked that they are relatively unexciting. 

Naturally, this kind of article is going to have one and only one certainty. That the most overrated Commander is, has, and forever will be, (at least, according to me), the gorram Mimeoplasm. This is a given, I've beat it to death, and I don't really want to dignify that piece of sludge with any more publicity.

So enough talk. I've found my soapbox, and I'm ready to go. 

8. Kaalia of the Vast

Congratulations, Kaalia players. This card is significantly less boring than I originally thought. Maybe that's because I have one of the rare breed of Kaalia players that understands Armageddon and Avacyn just aren't that cool a thousand freaking times. No, I'd say definitely. Because if I had to play that deck, I'd still not like Kaalia. Don't get me wrong. In the words of Pepper Brooks, "It's a bold strategy, Cotton." It's just not an original one. These days even new commander players seem to know what's up, and that makes me happy. 

7. Prossh, Skyraider of Kher

This deck was popping up pretty frequently on TappedOut until the end of January, and I just didn't get it. Though the art is cool, casting Prossh and sacrificing a bunch of dudes to get Commander Damage still feels lame. Go ahead and continue to attack with your silly Dragon. I have removal spells, two thumbs, and to be punny, I just don't "Kher." 

6. Nekusar, the Mind Razer

I was apparently wrong when I said that no one was going to play this card. Obviously, I forgot that people like to play with themselves and Windfall whilst doing nothing. The only thing less appealing to me about this card is the fact that every time I look at it I have to see atrocious art, and terrible top-to-bottom design. There is literally nothing I like about this card. It's like Niv-Mizzet, but for Kids. 

5. Arcum Dagsson

I had the chance to play against this deck, and I'm glad I did. Because contrary to what ex-CommanderCast recurring guests and the silly 1v1 thing they have going on in France, it's pretty bad. Rather than blather on though, I'm going to let my favorite Santa Barbara Police Chief tell you how I feel: 

Silliness aside, what this deck actually does is very little to try and win the game. I liken it to the way the fact that you can really only put out so many Stax effects before it becomes easy to predict. Obstacle Courses don't win you the game. They just stop other people from doing it.

4. Grand Arbiter Agustin IV

I've been bad at EDH too guys. I played GAAIV long ago when I didn't have a code or any respect for the value of artistry and craftsmanship in the deckbuilding process. Even without my melodramatic eloquence, there's a lot you can telegraph to your opponent about your Commander, even if they don't know what is in your deck. Good players and long time-ers that retain half of what they know about Magic can create solid educated guesses about what's in a 99-card deck. For me, this is one of the few decks people still play that really screams, "Hey! I'm playing GoodStuff! I have no idea what Commander is! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" I think my list is around for validation, but just go Google it and prove me wrong. There's really no "theme" that can be crafted in this deck except Hate Bears, and then you're just playing a deck similar to Arcum deck.

Anyway, please don't build this deck. There are so many better U/W Commanders now, and our entire staff has experience with all of them. Let us help you from making a huge mistake.

3. Diaochan, Artful Beauty

So for you longtime Zoners, this might not be a surprise that I don't like this. Back when they released Commander's Arsenal, I talked mad crap about this piece of chaff. 

Still, if it's a surprise to you that it wound up on a list of Overrated Commanders, well, this is the way I look at it. If a single person on the planet looked at this card, cocked their head, and went, "Hmm...Maybe I can make this work," it's overrated.

All I have to say is that if there's a God, or a Cthulu monster out there, that thing better help the person who's got the guts to show up at a kitchen table in my general vicinity and try to play it. I have a feeling my reaction might be similar to what Stewie Griffin did to Will Ferrell after he saw Bewitched.

2. Riku of Two Reflections

Riku is both Green and Red because it wants to take you to Magical Christmas Land, where mana is infinite and Genesis Waves only get cast for a minimum of X=75. What most Riku players fail to understand though that Niv-Mizzet and even evil ol' Momir Vig have way more goodies under their Christmas Trees. This deck annoys me because people consider it "competitive," yet I don't see how it beats even a good Animar deck, which happens to be only "Tier 2," if you believe in that sort of thing. This Commander makes every card in your deck cost more, which means that Molasses.dec should be able to beat this thing no problem. Especially with no access to solid Wrath Spells. 

1. The Mimeoplasm

I didn't thwart your expectations here. We have a saying here on TGZ that "Friends don't let Friends play The Mimeoplasm," and there's a pile of good reasons why. Like Kaalia, this deck does a lot of boring stuff trying to create combos that only make the deck worse. Actual Reanimate decks own this thing because it has to eliminate card advantage to win. Now, I'm not always opposed to inefficient effects, but this is just where I've drawn the line. 

Well, that wraps up my thoughts for today. Be sure to have fun arguing me and calling me stupid if I hated on your Commander in the comments below.

Have a wonderful evening. Pass Turn.
-UL