With Theros officially spoiled, we're kicking it all off today rating the big boppers in this "Legendary" set.
This week I had our little gang do something different for this week's Stack. After all, with special cards comes
So enjoy. THIS IS THE STACK!
GG's Ranks
I had a lot of good ideas of what scale to rank these god cards on. I have long been a student of classic literature and culture so I knew instantly that I wanted to compare these cards on a scale that would have meaning in the context of Greek culture.
Alternate options were:
-Most likely to be used for a Deus Ex Machina.
-Most likely to be sporting a 'prodigious burden' (that's a comically large phallus for those out of the loop).
-Most likely to cross dress.
-Which animal/human forms I think would be coolest for these gods.
Ultimately, I decided that the best way to rank these characters was with the following criteria:
Theros Gods Most Likely to Have Illegitimate Children
5. Erebos, God of the Dead.
Also, carrying around a whip isn't a way to make friends. This gives a clear S&M signal and that is going to be a turn of to a lot of people.
Being the god of the dead also isn't exactly a dream job. The ladies want like, investment banker or doctor that only does charity work in developing countries. Hades had to resort to kidnapping to get a girlfriend and she couldn't even stand being around him.
My advice? Cut your horns, wear a collared shirt, and start working out.
4. Nylea, God(dess) of the Hunt
Still, she is pretty attractive for a humanoid, but I am getting a prickly vibe off of her. She probably takes her job too seriously and is worried that she won't be treated fairly if she can't out-compete the men. Ironically, this just makes her less desirable to the men she was trying to be accepted by. No one likes a try hard.
3. Thassa, God(dess) of the Sea
There are plenty of fish in the sea, right? So her odds of scoring a few notches on her bedpost seem pretty good, but the part of this saying that gets left off makes me hesitate. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but many of them are going to end up in a single net.However, if Tritons breed anything like real-life Earth fish then we could have a whole different problem on our hands. It could be a free-for-all tidal orgy down there. Who knows what can happen? We will need Maury Povich to sort out who the father is!
2. Purphoros, God of the Forge
This is exactly the kind of guy you want to be friends with. He has to throw killer parties. Check it out: he sets off fireworks whenever a new friend shows up and he really knows how to get the whole crew riled up and ready to do something stupid. I am sure this guy is showing his hammer to a new girl every weekend.
1. Heliod, God of the Sun
Who wouldn't love a shot at the number one personality on the whole plane? This guy is the closest thing you can get to an MtG celebrity.
Jace might have more power, but nobody knows his name when he jumps to a new plane.
On Theros Heliod is the most eligible bachelor and I bet he can't wait to pump out more little clerics to help spread the word about his spear.
JC's Ranks
The way I will be evaluating the gods is by looking at their abilities in combination with their artifacts.
When Wizards said they'd be releasing a Greek mythology-based set I was skeptical. So far I have been surprised at how they took to the theme and captured the feel with powerful effects and the flavor of devotion. It's my favorite of all ancient civilizations, and I didn't want them to do it wrong.
The gods were a bittersweet release for me, honestly. They felt strong and the devotion mechanic seemed to really fit in but their equipment feels a bit off. As a planeswalker in this world should you be able to wield the weapons of the gods? I'd say not unless the devotion was high. I foresee these as an strong resource that grant strong effects for just existing and that will make EDH a much more dangerous place.
5. Heliod, God of the Sun / Spear of Heliod.
His Spear is odd. Somehow it strengthens your troops. Although I completely get the Avenging Arrow that is attached to it. Feels right that Heliod/Zeus would be able to strike down with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy his "brothers." The pair of them help but there is not as much synergy between them.
4. Erebos, God of the Dead / Whip of Erebos.
His Whip is also disappointing. Lifelink is good so in theory shutting down your opponent's life gain abilities makes for an strong advantage and the activated Unearth-like ability seems like alot of power checking on one card. You can't flicker it, or return it to hand or else it's Exiled anyway. Sundial of the Infinite would be the only way to keep it a little longer, but not much. I suppose Sedris Decks will utilize it more than anyone else.
3. Thassa, god(dess) of the sea / Bident of Thassa
Scry is the name here and all my Melek friends out there love to scry but how strong is scry 1 to each player? When we have cards like Top, Scroll Rack, and Soothsaying, why even think of running her? Her ability is where the power lies if you ask me. It's the lowest cost of the 5 and it makes any creature unblockable.
As for her Fork...now this thing has the real power of blue. Capturing the essence of Curiosity and Alluring Siren in overdrive. Though the Siren ability seems out of the color-pie, I'm fine with it.
2. Purphoros, God of the Forge / Hammer of Purphoros
When I was looking at gods that I would play in this set both (green and Thassa called to me for my RUG Animar commander but then This guy came into the fold and Thassa was kicked out for him. Why? Heavy creature decks tend to fall into the aggro style of play and main win conditions really come down to combat damage both by Generals and creature beatdown. Having Purphoros around helps keep on the pressure and spread out the damage to make getting damage through both easier and faster. While he is on the field, each creature entering makes a reusable Shock that gets better with Flash and Flicker battle-tricks. While I'll rarely use his pump, I can see a scenario where that would be necessary but very infrequent with the triggered shock.
His artifact is more powerful when he's on the field. Granting haste to all newcomers especially if your sacrificing your lands to make more creatures, which reads like "sac a mountain, put a 3/3 creature into play and (red god) deals 2 to each opponent.
As for her Fork...now this thing has the real power of blue. Capturing the essence of Curiosity and Alluring Siren in overdrive. Though the Siren ability seems out of the color-pie, I'm fine with it.
2. Purphoros, God of the Forge / Hammer of Purphoros
His artifact is more powerful when he's on the field. Granting haste to all newcomers especially if your sacrificing your lands to make more creatures, which reads like "sac a mountain, put a 3/3 creature into play and (red god) deals 2 to each opponent.
1. Nylea, God(dess) of the Hunt / Bow of Nylea
Her bow is a completely different story. All creatures you control have deathtouch? Wizards are you kidding me? Thats a ridiculous ability just to have for three mana, not including the wide range of abilities to choose from for 1G making this bow and arrow something Hawkeye would use.
VJ's Ranks
5. Heliod, God of the Sun
Flavor-wise, I like this card. Pumping out weenies and making them Vigilant is a trademark of white mana.Unfortunately, He's just not that amazing or innovative. "Let's put Serra's Blessing on a 5/6 that makes overpriced 2/1s" is no way to make a Legendary creature.
4. Erebos, God of the Dead
I see what they did here. Put Greed on a creature. But 2 mana and 2 life is too much for just one more card in your hand.
I'd think the dead of Theros would be a bit more generous.
3. Purphoros, God of the Forge
Although I don't use burn very often, I like the direction this card is taking. It's almost like Warstorm Surge on a creature.
2. Nylea, God(dess) of the Hunt
Trample is good, as is +2/+2 buffs. It's almost a one card combo, but the creature buff ability is way too expensive. Still, she's a 6/6 Primal Rage and that is both a sign of good flavor and good power.
Although I don't use burn very often, I like the direction this card is taking. It's almost like Warstorm Surge on a creature.
2. Nylea, God(dess) of the Hunt
1. Thassa, God(dess) of the Sea
I like to scry, and I'm infinitely pleased to see it making a comeback in Theros. Although Scry 1 isn't much, it's a glimpse into the future or one less card you have to draw to get out your win con. I've always enjoyed deck manipulation. Non-cheating cheating basically. Unblockability is also fun to play with.
UL's Ranks
Much of the appeal of Theros for me so far is the artwork. As I get further into my Magic playing habits, I find that this particular part of the card aesthetic is becoming much more important to me- especially as I get better as a player and cards, like the Gods, creep in power.
My ranks are going to be much more influenced by this, though I do plan on trying to get copies and play all of them.
5. Heliod, God of the Sun
Perhaps Heliod is gonna be the low man on the totem pole for many people, but he's really not functionally as bad to me as Nylea. GG will tell you Vigilance is a last minute throw on ability, and maybe he's right. I'm not sure, but I find that it's relevant in most of the time. I like it when I get to keep up my defenses.
Spitting out babies seems really good here, and even though it's a little costly, people with Serra's Sanctum will be able to add some good value here.
But that sounds like I like this card. Though the sparkly nonsense almost gets there, like the rest of this artwork, it doesn't go the distance for me. I don't like how we can see Nyx in his body. I don't like the way the light reflects in the sky, giving him this hazyness over his face, and the same goes for his trusty spear and his peasant brown-ish robes.
I just do not like them "Sam I Am." I would not like them in Japan. I would not like them with a can of SPAM.
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| DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT NO GREEN EGGS AND HAM! |
In the words of my life coach and cinematic mentor, The Dude, "This Artwork will not stand, man." It's so unappealing that I might not even play it, if it weren't for his meddling abilities.
4. Thassa, God(dess) of the Sea
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| Milotic, for you Trainers who hung up your Poke Balls after Gold and Silver |
3. Erebos, God of the Dead
Erebos gets the nod here because he has the best use of his sparklies. The way the background matches the enchantment border really helps to stretch the perception of what the card looks like. If you've seen some of my proxies, I'm kind of a fan of stretching and re-shaping that aesthetic.
In terms of functionality, GG sort of changed my perspective on this card. I mean, I knew shutting down life gain and drawing cards was good; Being a 5/7 though really helps out his case though. In the color pie, Black gets a lot of B's in its casting cost, which was originally supposed to help balance its power. I can't see that being the case for much longer.
2. Purphoros, God of the Forge
Total surprise that I'm putting this one at Number Two, but it's well deserved. The gold and smoke over top of the mountain give him this really great regal look, and I really dig his abilities. Great design for a red card, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to talk about it. This could make for a few great red token combos with Hostility, specifically.
Fell in love with the art when they spoiled it at Comic-Con, and it's still my favorite. I also love me a good warrior woman. I find her abilities somewhat redundant, but she's probably going to be the most "active" as a creature. I'm not sure where that leaves her, but I like this card, even if it is a little underpowered comparatively.
Anywho, get excited folks. There's much more Theros to talk about in the next few weeks.
Be sure to check those out. I have a feeling this set is going to change Commander quite a bit.
So pull out your old Led Zeppelin tracks and start driving your ships to new lands and banging your Hammer of the Gods-
The Chamber of Busted-ness has been opened.
Release the Kraken.
-UL and the TGZ Heroes
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