UL's Favorites: Some Really Funky Black Guys (and Girls)

Tuesday's rolled around once again, and it's time to for me to finish my lists.

So rather than bore you with any nonsense, I'm gonna shut up and play the funky music.

Here's my top 10 favorite Black creatures.

10. Butcher of Malakir

Probably no surprises. I think people know how good this guy is. A Dude with a Grave Pact.

Having a 5/4 Flyer is actually good too. It affords you the opportunity of getting a huge removal spell in multiplayer, as well as a way to beat down and make your opponents think twice about blocking. Second guessing leads to mistakes. Mistakes lead to losses. Their losses lead to your victory.

At least, that's what Yoda tells me. Then again he also said "Hard to see the Dark Side is." So what is it Yoda? Amirite?




                                                                                                9. Bloodgift Demon

BGD is a neat little card. He scales nicely with your plans, adding hopefully to the additional card you're probably already drawing with Phyrexian Arena. Having a 5/4 flyer can also be relevant if you need to chump block.

And having a 5/4 flyer that looks like Hellboy with wings and a raised golden chalice, presumably filled to the brim with Blood, is... kinda like looking at an unsettling picture of Demon Communion? I don't know where I was going with this. It's just art. The colors really pop in this one, and I think that's why I I like it.

One of the cool tricks that I haven't felt good about doing yet is pinging other people with the ability. Mostly, cause I don't want them drawing cards. But I've got him in this Kaervek deck where I can stack additional damage effects on for drawing said card.

8. Graveborn Muse

Original Gravy is an O.G. (The other Gravy being Gravy T, rolling with Zombs). Again, scales nicely with Phyrexian Arena. I've only had one rare circumstance where I was able to play Arena, Gravy, and BGD Turns 3-5. It's kinda like hitting the jackpot, and I love to revel in the small victories when I get to draw lots o' cards.

Do remember though that OG can be ballsy, particularly in Zombie tribal. The more dudes you put out, the more damage and cards you draw. It's not the worst, but it could be. I always forget about Army of the Damned.

Also, it's a spirit. So if you're going Spirit Tribal, you now have an extra card draw outlet if you're trying to stay faithful to that.



                                                                                                7. Sepulchral Primordial

Seppy Prime's one of the new additions to the gang, so I don't have much experience with it quite yet, but I do like what it does.

Fear- I mean, Intimidate- seems relevant, and again, we get to make as many players pay as we want.

I've seen this card get so much value in multiplayer. In most of the games I play in black, it essentially becomes a contest to see how many times I can play Solemn Simulacrum. My opponents have followed suit, and most of them actually love playing this guy to get my Solemn Simulacrum. So the fun never ends, and we all get a shot at winning, because as a joke, we say that the person who casts Solemn Simulacrum the most is totally who should win the game.


6. Crypt Ghast

Like Seppy, I pre-ordered this card in Gatecrash cause I had a feeling it was going to be good. Boy was I on the money. It's been the Extraplanar Lens I needed, and as an added bonus, I get to trigger Extort. Oh, and I don't lose a land.

The art isn't much to write home about, but it's good to have expectations met. I really do like the shading and the transparency that's near the bottom of his shape. See also the moving masks. No idea what the flavor is, but it doesn't matter to me- this creep can roll, man.

Again, this is another great addition to mono-Black spirit tribal. See if you can make a better Infernal Kirin EDH than the one I scrapped a few weeks ago. Just don't forget Wicked Effing Akuba. Or you'll be sorry.


                                                                                               5. Coffin Queen

Koffing Queen Alter to follow.

This is actually a card that I don't have a lot of experience with, but I want to get to know her. Like Preacher, which I mentioned a few weeks ago, I plan on playing this card in the near future, possibly in a deck where I can abuse other activated abilities so I can play Illusionist's Bracers and get mega value.

I currently have her slotted in my Lazav Sewer Protection deck, predicated on getting some mill, some laughs, and a few copies of dudes from other people's bins.

I really like this art too. Really good fun Vintage Magic art. She looks like a super villain.




4. Necroskitter

I've talked up this card a lot, and I think it's a gem. I know other people do. I mean, there's gotta be a reason he's still 5 bucks, right?

I ended up not making the Skeleton Ship deck that I wanted to cause it didn't feel too inspired, but I plan on crafting a deck with some -1/-1 counters in the future, and I definitely have a spot for Mr. Skitter here in a future design.

I feel like this card is a pretty flavorful masterpiece top-to-bottom. From his spiny attributes to his spidery legs, even his P and T, which is pretty uncommon for a black creature. I like how all of this stuff seems to match up really well, and it's one of the reasons I'm looking forward to playing this card.

                                                                                                3. Braids, Cabal Minion

Since she's banned as a General, I figured we could talk about Braids here, cause she is a card I play a lot.

It's nice having recurrable removal to slow people down in multiplayer. Even in 1v1 she's pretty good. I've found her to be very useful in just about every black deck she's ever been in.

In decks with a bunch of other hate bears, she can really shine by stacking sacrifice triggers onto each other. I had an old Ghost Council 1.0 deck that was trying to accomplish this. Her plus Hokori or World Queller really wreak some havoc.

One of my favorite ploys is to sac her to her own upkeep trigger and reanimate again. It's fun when they think they're safe, but they aren't. Having her on a Mimic Vat to activate on their upkeep is pretty cool too. Especially in 1v1.

Just don't look into her eyes too long Zoners. She's got the crazy eyes. Queue Twilight Zone-Looking clip from CBS's hit show, How I Met Your Mother.

2. Midnight Banshee

As far as mono-Black is concerned, I think Banshee is pretty incredible. It's a token hoser, and a decent 5/5 attacker that's going to shrink a Titan at its worst.

Unfortunately, I think people see "nonblack" and like Doom Blade, they get scared. Though this text can sometimes be hard to play around, especially if your opponent plays black, I still find her more useful than not.

Again, another Spirit to treasure from the sadly unsuccessful Infernal Kirin deck.

The art's still pretty sweet though. Really nice and unsettling.




                                                                                                1. Skinrender

I'm fairly sure I speak for GG too when I say that this card is awesome. He's basically right at the beginning of relevant curves in black, and he allows you to get rid of anything that will probably come before, like a Gaddock Teeg or a pesky Merfolk Looter (though it's probably too late on the Looter. They've drawn cards, and you've lost the game.).

I love the art, I love what he does. He's just been a great little pet card.

He fits well into Zombie tribal too, which is a pretty common thing, though I wish they'd given him his actual creature type, which is Predator. That's what I call him anyway, despite Skinrender being a sweet name for a card in its own right. He's like the world's most violent-sounding Decepticon.

We got great stuff this week from the TGZ team, so make sure you keep yourself above water as we talk budget cards and flavor fouls this week. 

Til then, keep Starscream in check, Megatron from turning into a gun (cause it's stupid), and even if all else fails, promise me you won't shove it in Optimus' chest.

Keep your Matrix of Leadership. Don't be an Awk-timus Prime.
-UL