Commander 2014 Review: Threats

Hello and welcome to The General Zone's Review of Commander 2014! I am your host Grandpa Growth. Here at TGZ we take Commander very seriously, so you know we are pulling out all the stops when it comes to the new Commander products. This year we have mono-colored decks filled to the brim with awesome new cards and I can't wait to take a look.

First, let's lay down the ground rules. Same as always:

• We will only be looking at cards that are relevant to Commander. If you think you can make a case for playing one of the cards that we leave out, post your ideas in the comments. We love to hear from you.
• I will not be discussing any reprints. Commander is an eternal format, if a card has been around for a while, we know what its place is in the format. A new card frame or flashy new art isn't going to change that.
• The review will be broken down into sections based on what the card does in a typical game: legends, threats, answers, utility, and mana. For analysis of the new planeswalkers and new potential commanders, you have to wait to hear from Uncle Landdrops in a few days.

Today we will be discussing the threats. A threat is something that you use to win the game. Creatures are the most common type here, but they can take on other forms as well. The best threats win the game quickly, are aggressively costed, and generate card advantage on the way to victory. Time to find out whether or not CMDR14 can cut the mustard. (Spoiler alert: it can!)


Top of the first inning, throwing out the opening pitch and the celebrity jerk bag at home plate just stands up and knocks it out of the park. This is a true powerhouse and is going to end many games with minimal effort. Just picture it: they make all the tokens. They cast their pump spells and their anthems. They swing for lethal all around the table. Players sweating left and right...and you just crap all over their cereal.

This card is stupid powerful. It has a decent size body and tons of added value, plus Flash. Historically speaking, Instants have done some pretty filthy things in Magic. Buy as many of these as you can get, play it in every deck. You won't be disappointed. There are some other cards that have me very excited in this set, but this is the runaway favorite for biggest hit in the set...and we are only one card into the review!



Here we get our first look a new mechanic: Lieutenant. Which is about as underwhelming as it gets. I have said it before and I will say it again here: the number of keyword mechanics coming out of Wizards these days is TOO DAMN HIGH!

I am particularly displeased with keywords that need to then be explained fully by their own rules text. The point of using keywords is so that they can act as a shorthand for COMMON mechanical themes. We already know what Flying means, so you can shorten "This Creature can only be blocked by Creatures with Flying or Reach." into just "Flying". Never, I repeat, NEVER should the use of a keyword make the text box of a card LONGER. There is just no reason to put it there. If I don't know what it means it shouldn't be on the card.

Luckily, I won't be bothered by this particular keyword too much because it is only on a handful of cards (another reason it shouldn't be a keyword) and they all pretty weak.



Hi kids, do you like tokens?! I know you do. Here, have a few more. This certainly makes a lot of dudes, but the real question that we need to ask is: is this better than what we already have? Storm Herd is probably going to make more tokens if you were winning. Perhaps fewer if you are losing or if the board is stalled something fierce. Those tokens also fly though, which is a huge upgrade over not flying. Try it, don't be surprised if you lose with this card still rotting in your hand.





I am really into this card. Unlike Deploy to the Front, this card can actually attack on its own and it resists the first piece of removal. I like this quite a bit. A single piece of equipment can make all of your early, interactive Creatures into ideal threats. This card isn't the best thing ever, but it is a piece of a winning game plan. A strategy that will produce reliable victories. That is the mark of a good card.






If the number of keywords is too damn high, the number of Leviathans, Krakens, Angels, Hydras, and Dragons is also way too high. This is a big dumb Creature that doesn't have much to offer the sophisticated EDH player. We have seen this all before and we choose not to play it because we just have better options. It will be great most of the times that you cast it, but there will be plenty of games that you never get to cast it or even worse, when you cast it and it just doesn't matter. If you aren't the biggest, the fastest, or the best, chances are that you aren't making it into one of my decks.



This is a very intriguing card. At first blush, it seems like it costs a few too many mana for my tastes. Still though, it provides some defense, the inevitability of a late-game threat, and the possibility for card advantage. I don't expect this to be a format warping hit, but it seems like it is worth a try. The more internal synergies your deck has with sacrifice effects, the better.








Kraken alert! I am down with Hexproof. That opens the door to do some pretty sick things with this, but sadly I can't see this making the cut. It is just damage and unless you can stick your commander, you aren't getting a great deal with this card. If you do manage to keep your commander in play through several combat phases...CONGRATULATIONS! You are already winning. Keep up the good work.







In a startling departure from the norm, Wizards chose not to template this cycle of cards with a new, irrelevant keyword. That being the case, I have taken it upon myself to dub this the "me and my homies" mechanic.

It is no secret that I hate multiplayer. It is also no secret that Commander is most often played in multiplayer. You will see a lot of this card and its cycle-brethren, but I am not going to be falling for this trap. Why? Here are some questions to help you analyze a game state to determine if this is good:

Can you win the current game without this card?

• If yes then: why would you even bother casting it?  
• If no: can you still win after you give your opponents free stuff? 

Wouldn't you rather have had something else in your deck. You see, the thing is that you can't trust your opponents. They DON'T WANT YOU TO WIN! That is all you need to understand when you consider giving the other players the benefits of choice AND doubt.
Now, if you are the kind of person who likes this interaction and finds Chaos decks amusing: I do not understand you. I do not like you.


This guy is going to to do some damage. There is a huge glut of gigantic Black Creatures that you want to be playing in all your decks though. There are just so many good ways to win the game that it is hard to choose which is best. Is this the best one? Heck if I know. It doubles as removal. It creates multiple bodies. It provides card advantage. It has evasion. This all sounds like good stuff right? So why am I not convinced that this is a home run...






There is no such thing as a constructed-playable 2/6. I am only putting this in the review so that I don't have to answer comments about it later. It's important to be thorough.
















It's a giant Red dragon with Haste! YAAAAAY! We don't have any of those already...


















This card is bad, but it has 'multiplayer interaction' written all over it. Which means two things to me:

1. I will never play it.
2. Someone else will and I will wonder why.

Gigantomancer sees a fair bit of play in token decks and rightly so. This card is cheaper, has a relevant body on its own and also grants Trample. This all sounds awesome, and it is, but it comes with a price. Higher activation costs, smaller pump effect, and more strict color requirements. All that said, I expect this to be a major player in many token decks in the coming months simply because having a pump effect that also beats down is just so much better than having a static Enchantment.





Honestly, I cannot think of a even a single deck that has a use for this. There are Elf and Druid theme decks, you might even be able to make a Beast deck, but why would you bother? The thing is, this is so powerful and so awesome. I want it to be good, I really do. I just can't imagine you winning any game where you cast this. Worst case scenario you just ran right in a Wrath of God. Best case scenario you gave every single opponents AT LEAST one Creature back. For what? A 5/7? Sorry boys, I don't think this is the one.




If you are playing along in The General Zone drinking game, you should be pretty well plastered by now. We have already had two angels, two dragons, a Kraken AND a Leviathan, a rant about design, and now a Hydra. If we were playing bingo the only thing we would be missing is a flavor rant...and trust me we will get there.

This card seems pretty sweet. It is basically mono Green exclusive, but that is okay. There are plenty of those decks running around. Unfortunately this is going to be pretty small for the cost. At six you have a 3/3. The only other 3/3 for six mana that I think I would ever play is Nacatl War Pride.

I like this. Giving a big army a way to punch through is a quick way to win the game. However, in Green, these effects are a dime a dozen. Bellowing Tangle Wurm, Overrun, Craterhoof Behemoth. Why play this instead? Sorceries don't need Hexproof. ETB triggers can't be killed.












This gives you a metric ton of power for very little cost. It diversifies your threats; many bodies both wide and tall. 'Me and my homies get dudes' is pretty awesome, but I don't want cards that lose to Wrath. It is so popular and so common that you must build your deck with removal in mind.

I just don't see the point in giving your opponents a bunch of Creatures to block your new Creatures either. That doesn't seem like a good way to win.




This is the text book definition of a 'win more' card. You have an army of Creatures. You have your Commander in play. Your opponent didn't cast Wrath last turn to sweep your board...AND YOU STILL AREN'T WINNING? What is this a beauty contest? There are no style points. Get in there are smash with your guys. Alpha Strike. Swing. Deliver the beats. Serve. Whatever you call it, you don't need this nonsense. You need a counterspell.

Well there you have it. That is the lot of them. What do you think so far? Be sure to share you thoughts in the comments: about the blog, the review, the cards, the terrible things you did after you lost the drinking game. We want to hear it all. I will be back later this week with more Commander 2014 action here on the blog. Stay tuned!

-GG