Even seasoned Magic players make some of the world's silliest mistakes, and today, we'll show you we are no exception.
GG, VJ, and I have dug back into games past to recall cards we'd liked to forget- the ones that probably shouldn't have happened, but did, and now we have to live with it.
We know we're not the only people who've gone flush and to 0 life at the same time, and so we encourage you to reflect on your moments of weakness as we do, if only as a reminder of the things that will never happen again.
SO CELEBRATE! THIS IS THE STACK!
VENSER'S JOURNALIST'S PICK
If ever there was a game when I should have saved more counterspells, this was the one. Dragons are scary and must never touch the battlefield; but giants are silly and shouldn't be a concern. Still, this one landed and my popping down more creatures in hopes of swarming the other player was not helping. Technically, Fling is the card that brought me to 0 hit points; but it couldn't have done it without a 23/23 Hamletback Goliath as ammunition.
Grandpa Growth- THUMBS DOWN
Yea, this card is kind of silly, but it does hit hard. I say this all the time, but this card makes for a perfect example: a threat that does nothing but damage, even if it is a lot of damage, just isn't good enough. You need card advantage, protection from removal, extra bodies, or at least abilities that are relevant in combat.
Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS DOWN
Clearly a card designed for Timmy, but I've never liked the way that this particular psychographic comes with a cruel little jab for players that like this stuff. Instead, I've started calling these "Number Munchers," because aside from its CMC and P & T, there's really not a lot of tastiness. I like my Number Munchers to be a little more literate.
GRANDPA GROWTH'S PICK
This isn't the most embarrassing card that I've ever lost to. It's not the card that I lost to most often. It very well could be the card that I lose to the highest percentage of times it is cast. It has been haunting me lately; I can't seem to get away from it. I have lost to this card just about every way you can lose to it, including actually being milled out of a game of Commander. There is a first time for everything, right? Granted he had infinite mana so he could have killed me with a ham sandwich, but that is beside the point.
This is an absolute HOUSE in Cube where you can pretty easily get an X = 10+ and kill your opponent on the spot. Normally, I am seeing this in Wrexial and Lazav EDH decks where I am promptly buried under an avalanche of my own Fact or Fiction and Bribery. I like to think I am above this kind of chicanery. I am wrong.
Venser's Journalist- THUMBS UP
I admit, I actually run this in my Lazav deck and I have used it shamelessly. I can see how losing to it would be embarrassing; I'd rather tell someone a Mind Funeral did me in. I do however like the card for multiplayer for reasons I shouldn't have to explain.
Uncle Landdrops- THUMBS UP
The arrival of Gatecrash made the previously gimmick-y Dimir mill decks way better. Having Lazav as a "creature" interactive option to complement the already above-average level of Wrex-I-Mill spell decks gave people great options and cool cards to play, ascending from being just another failed deck to one that can get there in the late-late, if the price is right.
Between Mind Grind and Whispering Madness, there is a lot to fear now. I used to play the Grind, and I really liked it. There's nothing I dislike more than folks who think they can limp into a game short on lands, and though I don't believe GG is necessarily doing this on a regular basis, this definitely hurts the marginal deck I see that thinks they can get away with a land count south of 35.
On another note- GG needs a nemesis, and I'm glad it's something as powerful, silly, and fun as Mind Grind. The poetic nature of this occasion is not lost on me. I know I sound a little sadistic, but I spent years thriving on finding goofy tech to beat Grandpa down with, and it is still the standard by which I build the majority of my decks. Contrary to popular advertisements, this is the best part of waking up- Not Folgers in a cup.
UNCLE LANDDROPS' PICK
I find that I either have little shame, or I've put up mental walls to hide my more embarrassing defeats. I don't think the latter is the case- but then again, would I know if I was?
I feel like I've been the "embarrasser" than the "embarrassee" in more occasions, not because I'm good, but simply because I play with oddballs like Batwing Brume and Avarice Totem.
Anyway, Stuffy Doll is a "bad" card by some people's standards. I think it's fine. It was my fault I lost. I attacked into it and subsequently lost the game. I got the Red Zone Bug playing Animar, and thought if I didn't attack I was going to lose. I haven't made this mistake twice.
I don't think I'd play Stuffy Doll, but I've said this before about other cards and wound up playing them. Having a blocker that forces your opponent to play around it or sway them from attacking altogether is valuable if you play the turn clock game. I'm not sure it's worth its casting cost, but I'm sure there's a way around that.
Grandpa Growth- THUMBS DOWN
I don't think that I would play this either, but I am not going to mince words about how powerful it is. Indestructible threats are difficult to deal with by definition. This guy needs a solid piece of equipment to be offensive, but it becomes tough (and painful) to stop once it gets going. There are plenty of ways to abuse this in damage dealing combos, as well. On defense, this card is more impressive, but not really what I would call an all-star. It is tough to race effectively and plays well in long games. I can see people, new players mostly, evaluating the power level of this card improperly and not reacting appropriately in-game. Once you see it work though, you typically learn your lesson.
Venser's Journalist- THUMBS DOWN
This card almost cost me a draft once, and for that I was ashamed. Although UL makes a good point about having a blocker that forces opponents into or around it, Raggedy Ann isn't exactly a game winner. If you do wind up losing to this card, it is indeed your fault, since I've not seen any good combos with this card and infinite damage loops, since if you are going to deal infinite damage, why have this as a middle-man?
Well, that's all we got for you today.
Feel free to leave us any thoughts you have in the comments below!
Grandpa will be back tomorrow with some knowledge, and look for our schedule to get its stride back this week.
This is UL signing off, reminding you all to get your Furbys spayed and neutered.
Maybe that will shut them up.
-UL
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