Today we're on tap with another quick Top 5 in my new segment, Glowing Ranks- the place where I get to randomly rank Magic Cards. Though GR's barely a week old, I thought it best to give you another quick dose before you forget what it tastes like. Last week, we talked about my favorite counterspells.
This week, it's boardsweeps. "Wrath" effects for short. Because not all of them are Wrath O' God, Jay O'Dudge (What I call Day of Judgment), or Damnation. Some of them hit other stuff in their destructive wake, and I won't shy away from them either. Here's how I'm going to define "Wrath" for my purposes here:
-must be a noncreature permanent or spell.
-must say "Destroy All", "Sacrifice All", or "RFG/Exile All." (Black Sun's and Mutilate aren't excluded either.)
-must NOT contain "Lands" or a basic land type (Land Destruction is a totally different thing)
-may NOT be solely about removing Creatures (I know, that's where "Wrath" comes from. Mincing words is what I do though.)
Unlike my homie Grandpa Growth, who'll commit to 8-10 Wrath effects without blinking, I'm a man who likes his to put you downhill with card advantage rather than reset to zero. Because destroying things without ways to leverage card advantage is silly. That's not to say he doesn't either- he just isn't as intrinsically attached to the things he plays, and I am.
Normally, that's why I tend to rock the spot removal in its place. Paths over Wraths, Return to Dust over Fracturing Gust- you don't need rhymes to get what I'm saying. Still, it can't be denied that getting big with a boardsweep is a necessary part of the game, and while it may be unrelated, we're going to get equally as big with our list today, doing 10 of my favorite instead of the normal 5. Some may be more recent, and therefore slightly more "popular," but it won't take away from the fact that 1) I like them and 2) I find them to be generally underplayed amongst my own group and absent in a lot of the lists I look at online (again, unlike Damnation/Jay/Wrath).
10. Tsabo's Decree
Well, we're starting off with the cheeky tech first this time.
Tsabo's Decree isn't a card I've played yet, but it's one I can't wait to cast. I keep a sort of Magic in-game bucket list of cards I want to cast for big money, and this is certainly one of them. Do you play against token decks? Tribal? Is it worth killing two Titans and getting free info? If the answer is yes, then your metagame needs this.
9. Merciless Eviction
Eviction is still a wall flower looking to get into the Commander dance, and I find that kind of sad. When it first came out, it instantly had my attention. Grandpa's mentioned many of times, including in the review of this card, just how difficult it is to get a BW Commander deck online and successful. Because without access to ramp and card advantage support, this color combination really suffers.
The main problem with Eviction is that exiling stuff is harsh in a set of colors that really want to play their graveyard. Karador plays creatures. Sharuum plays creatures. Even the main BW deck, Teysa 1.0, doesn't really want to play it because it hurts her own combo.
Still, I think there's plenty of room in the Esper Control, and in some Rock decks for Merciless. Modal cards are really nice because they provide the flexibility to avoid certain kinds of cards. In that way, I see building around Enchantments to use as a way to stop the Gods, which might possibly be Merciless Eviction's best quality.
8. Rout
I don't honestly get why I don't see this card as much as Day or Wrath. It's actually not much more expensive than Day, cheaper than Wrath, and though you're almost always going to pay 7 on an opponent's turn, there isn't a whole lot of difference between Turn 5 and Turn 4 when we're comparing what they are at sorcery-slow. Even if you're playing in 1v1 semi-competitive environments, this is a better Wrath than Jay Of Dudgment. Just saying.
7. Pure//Simple (Mostly Simple)
This is one of my more nonconventional picks. Not having a Naya or five color deck yet, this is a card that's sitting around in my binder waiting its turn.
Now, Pure is the first thing we see moving from left to right, but Simple is really what we need to examine first. This is something I think the alternative Naya decks really want to play. Marath and Uril obviously like their goodies, but Rith and Mayael really like to slam normal Enchantments like Doubling Season and go to work. Having another side of the card that hoses a multicolored Commander at worst is just a bonus.
Flavor points all around for a card with all the power, and all the flavor you could want.
6. Retribution of the Meek
This will be the third time now that I've mentioned Retribution of the Meek here, and though that might be a slightly overestimation of what I think about it, it's not by much.
RotM is now a card in my Lin Sivvi and Doran decks, two places where the creatures are usually going to be smaller than this, and are fairly expendable, so it's kind of unnecessary.
Still, it doesn't take a genius to imagine how much nonsense people want to cast with at least 6 power to get a sufficient clock. At Turn 9, we're talking about a cheap Wrath followed by your own threat, versus doing this on Turn 10. Couple that with the fact that this Wrath only costs one white, making it uber-splashable. Again, another Wrath that's cost equivalent with Jay of Dudge. Remind me why people play this instead? It got overprinted? Alright.
5. Plague Boiler
This is the worst artifact Wrath Glissa T's has in her arsenal, but it doesn't make it any less fun. I mean, just look at the artwork. There are people running in a semi-comical fashion from this core-like object that just might be a giant onion on a sacrificial altar. Now who wouldn't go for that?
Seriously though, this card is super sweet to play. Most times you are going to let it blow up in three turns or sooner. However, there have been moments where I've played it too early, or I've done it with the intention of tricking my opponents into holding up creatures and cards they wanted to stick on the battlefield.
The best part being that unlike P-Deedy (What I called Pernicious Deed on the two occurrences in which I've seen it in play), Plague Boiler is an artifact. So Glissa T's can play with it all day.
This is for sure a piece of niche tech for Glissa, but I could see it working in Damia Control, where they might have access to Academy Ruins in addition to a Glissa T's amongst the 99. Maybe even other GB decks want to play this, I don't know. It's a nice budget alternative to Disk and Stone.
4. Decree of Pain
So... I guess it's time we talked about a real Wrath effect?
Decree of Pain is a popular card for sure. Hence the reason it got new art and two reprints in the last year. Personally, I'm glad. This is a card that gets me out of my "I don't want to play cards that cost more than 6" shell and actually cast them without feeling like a chump.
On top of this, Decree of Pain is almost always going to be playable. If you're only gonna draw one card anyway, you can cycle it. If you're going to annihilate a huge board, you've got value. Any time you can kill four threats and draw four cards I think you've got a good card. Heck, I'd even settle for 3, depending on the situation.
It's a huge cost, but definitely worth it.
3. Martial Coup
For starters, this is a weird card in the way that it works. Unlike Kirtar's Wrath, or Phyrexian Rebirth, the creatures actually come into play first, THEN wreak havoc. Not something that people outside of rules aficionados might care about, because it Wraths and gets you ahead in creatures. Nevertheless, it's still weird to me.
"Never" is essentially the answer to how many times you'll cast this card for less than X=5, because this card has immense value, and it represents a decent amount of damage if you've been playing the card advantage game.
Again, this should be a popular wrath, but I just don't see it or hear people talking it up. That's why we're here. I'll let someone else take the lead on starting the Martial Coup Awareness Club. I just can't handle more responsibility than this blog.
2. Blasphemous Act
Unlike the rest of these cards, Blasphemous Act is severely overrepresented in my metagame. Nearly every person except me has played this card I feel, I keep cutting mine, and I have to admit I'm a little jealous of this predicament. Because I did get a foil copy of this off VJ some years back, and it'd be nice to see it in action.
In case you haven't played against it, BA is B.A. This is a card that will never cast for 9, and do more damage per creature than Pyroclasm. Short of the Indestructibles, this has been known to mostly do the trick for most creatures in most metagames.
1. Gaze of Granite
Here at the top, the value is immense. Gaze of Granite is sweet, and I play the crap out of it. With Pernicious Deed excluded from my formerly budget Glissa T's deck, both on price and card type (No enchantments in the deck), G of G found a quick permanent home amongst the non-artifact removal I like to play. Hitting Planeswalkers is one of the better qualities of this deck, which takes a while to get online.
Since most of the cards I tend to play are recurrable, and the mana base is able to generate consistent land drops and sometimes multiple ramp, I tend to have zero problems getting this to scale to whatever game I'm in.
Normally, a top card needs to have all of the aesthetic qualities too in order for it to be my favorite. This is a huge exception. I don't really care about flavor text, or the stale ambiguity that is the artwork- I just care about rules and CMC.
Be sure to share your favorite Wrath Effects, or criticize mine in the comments below. I'm sure I might've missed something, so if I did, do tell.
Pass.
-UL
This week, it's boardsweeps. "Wrath" effects for short. Because not all of them are Wrath O' God, Jay O'Dudge (What I call Day of Judgment), or Damnation. Some of them hit other stuff in their destructive wake, and I won't shy away from them either. Here's how I'm going to define "Wrath" for my purposes here:
-must be a noncreature permanent or spell.
-must say "Destroy All", "Sacrifice All", or "RFG/Exile All." (Black Sun's and Mutilate aren't excluded either.)
-must NOT contain "Lands" or a basic land type (Land Destruction is a totally different thing)
-may NOT be solely about removing Creatures (I know, that's where "Wrath" comes from. Mincing words is what I do though.)
Unlike my homie Grandpa Growth, who'll commit to 8-10 Wrath effects without blinking, I'm a man who likes his to put you downhill with card advantage rather than reset to zero. Because destroying things without ways to leverage card advantage is silly. That's not to say he doesn't either- he just isn't as intrinsically attached to the things he plays, and I am.
Normally, that's why I tend to rock the spot removal in its place. Paths over Wraths, Return to Dust over Fracturing Gust- you don't need rhymes to get what I'm saying. Still, it can't be denied that getting big with a boardsweep is a necessary part of the game, and while it may be unrelated, we're going to get equally as big with our list today, doing 10 of my favorite instead of the normal 5. Some may be more recent, and therefore slightly more "popular," but it won't take away from the fact that 1) I like them and 2) I find them to be generally underplayed amongst my own group and absent in a lot of the lists I look at online (again, unlike Damnation/Jay/Wrath).
10. Tsabo's Decree
Tsabo's Decree isn't a card I've played yet, but it's one I can't wait to cast. I keep a sort of Magic in-game bucket list of cards I want to cast for big money, and this is certainly one of them. Do you play against token decks? Tribal? Is it worth killing two Titans and getting free info? If the answer is yes, then your metagame needs this.
9. Merciless Eviction
The main problem with Eviction is that exiling stuff is harsh in a set of colors that really want to play their graveyard. Karador plays creatures. Sharuum plays creatures. Even the main BW deck, Teysa 1.0, doesn't really want to play it because it hurts her own combo.
Still, I think there's plenty of room in the Esper Control, and in some Rock decks for Merciless. Modal cards are really nice because they provide the flexibility to avoid certain kinds of cards. In that way, I see building around Enchantments to use as a way to stop the Gods, which might possibly be Merciless Eviction's best quality.
8. Rout
7. Pure//Simple (Mostly Simple)
Now, Pure is the first thing we see moving from left to right, but Simple is really what we need to examine first. This is something I think the alternative Naya decks really want to play. Marath and Uril obviously like their goodies, but Rith and Mayael really like to slam normal Enchantments like Doubling Season and go to work. Having another side of the card that hoses a multicolored Commander at worst is just a bonus.
Flavor points all around for a card with all the power, and all the flavor you could want.
6. Retribution of the Meek
This will be the third time now that I've mentioned Retribution of the Meek here, and though that might be a slightly overestimation of what I think about it, it's not by much.
RotM is now a card in my Lin Sivvi and Doran decks, two places where the creatures are usually going to be smaller than this, and are fairly expendable, so it's kind of unnecessary.
Still, it doesn't take a genius to imagine how much nonsense people want to cast with at least 6 power to get a sufficient clock. At Turn 9, we're talking about a cheap Wrath followed by your own threat, versus doing this on Turn 10. Couple that with the fact that this Wrath only costs one white, making it uber-splashable. Again, another Wrath that's cost equivalent with Jay of Dudge. Remind me why people play this instead? It got overprinted? Alright.
5. Plague Boiler
Seriously though, this card is super sweet to play. Most times you are going to let it blow up in three turns or sooner. However, there have been moments where I've played it too early, or I've done it with the intention of tricking my opponents into holding up creatures and cards they wanted to stick on the battlefield.
The best part being that unlike P-Deedy (What I called Pernicious Deed on the two occurrences in which I've seen it in play), Plague Boiler is an artifact. So Glissa T's can play with it all day.
This is for sure a piece of niche tech for Glissa, but I could see it working in Damia Control, where they might have access to Academy Ruins in addition to a Glissa T's amongst the 99. Maybe even other GB decks want to play this, I don't know. It's a nice budget alternative to Disk and Stone.
4. Decree of Pain
Decree of Pain is a popular card for sure. Hence the reason it got new art and two reprints in the last year. Personally, I'm glad. This is a card that gets me out of my "I don't want to play cards that cost more than 6" shell and actually cast them without feeling like a chump.
On top of this, Decree of Pain is almost always going to be playable. If you're only gonna draw one card anyway, you can cycle it. If you're going to annihilate a huge board, you've got value. Any time you can kill four threats and draw four cards I think you've got a good card. Heck, I'd even settle for 3, depending on the situation.
It's a huge cost, but definitely worth it.
3. Martial Coup
"Never" is essentially the answer to how many times you'll cast this card for less than X=5, because this card has immense value, and it represents a decent amount of damage if you've been playing the card advantage game.
Again, this should be a popular wrath, but I just don't see it or hear people talking it up. That's why we're here. I'll let someone else take the lead on starting the Martial Coup Awareness Club. I just can't handle more responsibility than this blog.
2. Blasphemous Act
In case you haven't played against it, BA is B.A. This is a card that will never cast for 9, and do more damage per creature than Pyroclasm. Short of the Indestructibles, this has been known to mostly do the trick for most creatures in most metagames.
1. Gaze of Granite
Since most of the cards I tend to play are recurrable, and the mana base is able to generate consistent land drops and sometimes multiple ramp, I tend to have zero problems getting this to scale to whatever game I'm in.
Normally, a top card needs to have all of the aesthetic qualities too in order for it to be my favorite. This is a huge exception. I don't really care about flavor text, or the stale ambiguity that is the artwork- I just care about rules and CMC.
Be sure to share your favorite Wrath Effects, or criticize mine in the comments below. I'm sure I might've missed something, so if I did, do tell.
Pass.
-UL
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