Remember The Fallen: UL's Deck Flops of 2014

One of the many things that has kept me "away from the TGZ phone" so to speak is that I haven't had much to talk about along the usual routes- tech, decks, etc. I've made-and-barely-played more decks than I've let out of the works, and that's supposed to happen. I've built too many bad decks to really be afraid of failure, and that's kind of what today's chat is about. My bad ideas, what to learn, and how to be better.

The point of this exercise is to show you I'm not the deckbuilding master. I build a lot of nonsense, and have a metagame that supports the new and the weird, not the insanely competitive. So decks that aren't optimal have a chance to exist- and decks that are actually not going to work, don't. It's a nice environment and equilibrium, and since some of you don't have the time nor the playgroup to test and play in the sandbox, here's the latest on mine:

XENAGOS, GOD OF REVELS

The idea for this deck was to play "Ball Lightning.dec." Gather up all the cards that give "Trample, Haste, sac at end of turn," play Xenny, and go to work. We'd been talking about it during a game, and so I looked up the design space.

In terms of creatures, there's quite a bit of sweet tech. Almost unanimous, my playgroup and I all thought of Blitz Hellion, which was pretty funny because no one thinks or uses this card at all.

Even now, the prospect of this deck is still exciting.

Theoretically though, it was terrible. On top of the fundamental problems I'll talk about in a minute, I severely miscounted my lands, forgot ramp- something, which stalled this deck out really hard in the few 1v1 matchups I played with the party god.

However, the biggest problem with the deck is its speed, and lack of Hexproof. The best reason Red Deck Wins worked was because it was fast, and predicated on the size and percentage control decks dedicated to removal. Because I'm a fool, and sometimes forget about the rules of Commander, this obviously made it a bad idea. The additional requirement of Xenagos means that even if your creature gets through with extra pumps, the time it takes to produce the combos gives a good opponent with a decent deck way too much time to find an answer.

Recently, I've "uncovered" (obviously, I mean search for and remembered) a couple of nice cards that would drastically improve this deck along side an obligatory Asceticism- City of Solitude and Dosan the Falling Leaf. Still, two of these are in colors that make them completely untutorable, not to mention that they're all going to be hated out in such a short time they're probably not even worth playing. Short of being allowed to play another deck that Wraths every turn, or having an opponent in your meta who thinks it'd be a good idea to play this deck against Xenagos, this design really didn't have a lot of opportunity for success, and was dismantled quickly after it got to the table.

TAJIC, BLADE OF THE LEGION

Speaking of which, I've also tried my hand at Wrath.dec twice now.

The first time I made it creatureless, with just equipment, Instants, and Wraths. It was as basic and flat as it sounds, and because it was such an obvious strategy, it was easy for my opponents to prevent damage.

The second time I visited the deck, I dedicated some more resources to defense. Creatures and characters that had Pariah-style effects allowed me to create some neat combos and ensure that Tajic didn't get Withered to death.

In my quest to make Boros work, what I've noticed is that unlike most of the enemy colors, the problem is in the rigid shape the design has taken.

When you look at Golgari (Green/Black), for example, Green has access to ramp, noncreature permanent removal, life gain, and big creatures. Black has access to creature removal, drawing cards, reanimate spells, and a general theme of paying life to power up your stuff. They foil nicely.

Yet when you look at Red/White, everything is basically the same, and the cards that have both color identity don't provide any room for advantage. It's a frustrating institutional problem that we Commander players can't really solve. Hence the reason I've now tried to make every single RW Legend a Commander except Iroas, and I haven't had a whole lot of solid success.

SYGG, RIVER CUTTHROAT II

The Merfolk from the Dark Lagoon was once a deck I'd made to battle 1v1 against the forces of Grandpa Growth. The first time Sygg was fortified with quality stuff, but that got boring, so I took it apart.

This last time I decided to do something different- Go Rogue. As in, Rogue Tribal. I may have mentioned this before, but the deck was fortified with all the aggressive, cheap little Rogues I could find, and a sweet little theme- Steal Stuff. Interested in playing an aggressive-yet-entirely-opponent-contingent strategy, I played the Mind Control sweet, and a few cards GG used to demolish me with: Bribery and Desertion.

Overall, the design was neat, but drew inherent, unnecessary hate. No one was going to let me draw cards in multiplayer, so I got attacked, even when I wasn't the actual threat.

I made the joke that this deck was essentially a "Bad Edric" deck, mostly because it played little dudes, lacked a serious politicality, and a decent draw engine, but I think that's exactly right. The design was fine, the deck worked, but it wasn't enough to be consistent, and that was enough to take it apart, and never play again. I even sold my copy of Sygg, which was somehow $6.

Having been around a while, and knowing a decent amount of what I want to do in a given game, I'm not afraid to listen or get discouraged when a fun or exciting deck idea goes so terribly wrong. It's never fun, but it is part of the challenge.

Like movies, novels, music, art- not everything can be great. In fact, I watch a lot of movies I know aren't going to be close to what I think great films are (The Big Lebowski, Donnie Darko, The Lego Movie, even). Still, if you weather through the bad, even things you don't like, you're guaranteed to find the right kinds of decks as well as the other nonsense you will enjoy in this world. It's all about the search. So if you're on the strugglebus, keep going. Keep failing. You'll find what you're looking for.

Pass Turn.
-UL

Born of the Gods Set Review: The Legends

Heya Zoners!

With Born of the Gods prereleasing this weekend, I thought we'd go ahead and kick things off a little early with my role in TGZ's Set Review as we review the hot new Legendary Creatures coming to a kitchen table near you.

THE CARDS

In our first card, the creature type claims it's one of two things Liam Neeson is most likely to unleash (The other being his particular set of skills).

However, all I see is an oversized snake with a claw and an octopus hand (which is pretty cool, I'll admit) wrecking a seaside town in a bad purple Kabuki Theatre costume (In this case, "R" comes before "E," because I'm being totally pretentious).

All I can think is he must've fallen asleep and missed the planeswalk to Kamigawa. Cause if it weren't for the rules, we'd be done and moving on.

So thank goodness we aren't judging books by their covers.

Now, I don't get the flavor of conditional Hexproof, but I have to admit, it's neat, and moderately exciting. It really does nothing for your opponent. There is nothing save a lonely and unplayable Basandra, Battle Seraph getting in the way of your opponent blowing him up in combat.

This second ability is pretty sweet, and makes him an actual threat. I already saw a list on TappedOut last week where the deckbuilder put in tap effects so that he can force Tromo's unblockable abilities, because yeah, that's a thing.

So if you really want to play this card, the questions is this: How much almost-unblockable-almost-hexproof do you want?

Kidding aside, I do like this card. I'm a sucker for sea monsters and 8/8's that are low maintenance. This will make blue decks even easier to play pure control because they don't have to play a bunch of Wizards like Azami or silly infinite combo pieces to win. So if you see it around, look forward to more counterspells, and jokes made out of bad lines which Liam Neeson has salvaged and immortalized on the silver screen.

The name of our next card was actually a misprint. Because there's really only one true Lion King, and his name is MUFASA! (I'll also accept Aslan, but I think we know this is totally Mufasa's M.O.).

So make sure you correct your friends. It's important to me that we use proper nomenclature in this obviously inconsiderate, non-hilarious world. We wouldn't want to offend anyone.

And since we're two cards in, I think the time is appropriate for an angry Grandpa Growth-esque tirade, so let's begin Brimaz's evaluation with it:

Why do we have Cat Royalty? Who is he ruling over? The SIX other cats on that have been printed in this block? And how does he rule over a wild, hexproof, and indestructible Fleecemane Lion? Many times, I think the world would be a better place if we just stopped and asked ourselves, "Where were the Parents At?" But to be more relevant, I must ask- Where are the Kittens!?!?! This guy has no frame of reference. He might as well have gone through the drive-thru at Burger King and asked them for a birthday crown, because that's how relevant his title feels to me right now.

[end rant]

Obvious flavor misgrievances aside, this is definitely something for the competitive players. He is "Diet Jedit Ojanen of Efrava," if you like oddly lengthy comparisons to cards from Future Past (Unintentional New X-Men Movie Plugs. The Jedit to which I am referring is not the Legends one, but the Planar Chaos version. Hence my labeling.). I guess this is where the cats are supposed to come from.

So if you can afford it, play it. If you play Kemba or Raksha, this is a card for that deck. This card is cool, available, and practically sells itself my making more adorable, Skullclamp-able pals. I still think it's ridiculous that he has to make his own kingdom. There's just something that's a little fishy going on with that. Talk about playing god...

Puns. Eww.

Now to talk about actual gods. First up is Ephara, being so obviously clumsy with her whole bottle of Nyx-Juice. Did Artist Eric Deschamps just catch her in a bad moment, or is it just odd? You tell me.

If all the Gods are being this carefree, then it's no wonder the dirty bohemian satyr Xenagos decided to ascend into Godhood. Seems like a pretty big party foul to me.

Anywho, Ephara. Because everyone knows "polis" means "city" in Greek, this clearly makes our U/W God the master of Urban Planning. This is the beginning of what I think is hilarious job specialization amongst Gods. I can't wait for Kruphix, God of Celery Sticks, or Pharika, God of Gorgon-Related Accessories. Apparently, there is a limit to omnipotence, and some of these guys are going to end up in really crappy cubicles.

Okay- let's actually review this card. Cool art. It's almost cool enough to distract me from the fact that this is probably the weakest god next to Nylea, but "draw a card" did get squeezed in at the last second, so- maybe it's good? I'll be anxious to see if people can get her live. I think that's necessary to make her any good.

There have just been so many U/W options to come out in the last few sets that feel more worth your time as a Commander than her, but that doesn't mean she isn't great support. Isperia's fine, but she's a chump compared to Daxos, Lavinia, and Medomai. All of these cards are just significantly more powerful.

Overall, Ephara is probably going to be best kept in the Lavinia deck, where creatures are coming in all the time. I don't think that it'll stop her from being boss over her own decks though. This is a playable card, even if it's not the greatest.

Karametra is the God of the deck I'm backing to crack ESPN Top 10 Highlights. Welcome to Ramp Whilst We Ramp University. Do you like to play dudes? Do you like Rampant Growth? Well, now both is happening.

There's just no way you can really lose. Card Advantage doesn't matter anymore. You can now play all your lands and all your dudes AT THE SAME TIME.

At 6/7, Karametra is also going to be a creature that's smashing face. Green is a color with great ability to get devotion as well as trample, and many of the white flying creatures you probably want to be playing will have at least double white in their cost. So keeping her off devotion will be a huge part of Karametra's metagame.

The only other downside to this card is that Timmy's gonna have to wait to play, "Haaave you met Ted?" for another week (Sorry if you're not a "How I Met Your Mother" Lover. We can't all be them, can we?). This is surely going to be a relationship not even Match.com can, well, "match." Maybe she isn't all that attractive, but lumpy, amorphous Gods with dreadlocks need loving too, and I guarantee she will be loved anyway. Instantly a Commander. Probably a mistake otherwise.

Of the Gods in this set, I think Mogis is probably the one that most improves his part of the color pie.

Not only is he extremely playable as a Commander, but he also has cool flavor. He got a title I think a god should have. He has the head of a cow and is murdering people. He's pain or removal, Indestructible, and a 3-turn clock.

Hashtag, This Is What Vegetarians Were Afraid Of.

Hashtag, In Soviet Theros, Meat Murders You!

While I am worried about the damage tax being an option, and the lack of available removal against this decks biggest offender, Tokens, this card is ironically very lovable.

Especially for Rakdos players in Commander.

There are a lot of things to like about this card. Phenax is a super-cool name, and sports an equally dapper yet mysterious moniker.

Clearly, I'm willing to overlook what exactly is deceiving, and to whom Phenax believes he is doing this to, but we really shouldn't.

I don't get his relevance, and I don't get how this deck wins. Does he just hang out in Wrexial/Lazav decks? Is Phenax his own man? Will Guns'N'Roses ever stop making music? Will Cell survive Goku's Spirit Bomb?

All of these are examples of questions we're just going to have to wait to find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z. Cause I'm interested, just not sure what anyone could or should want to do with Phenax. Definitely a puzzle, but not one that I think is totally unplayable. Mill is a hard strategy, and this just might be the card those decks need, or the card they deserve.

Well, we knew it was coming. Xenagos is a god and he's evil. He bears the sash, the mark of Multiverse Mischief. Don't believe me? Look at Disciple of Bolas, Mindclaw Shaman, and Augur of Bolas. All sashing it up, like they're old cowboys or something.

So let's talk about Xenagos' new job. Webster's dictionary defines "Revel" as, "to engage in lively festivities, especially those with drinking and dancing." I know because I had to look this up, and it's a really stupid word to use. I think it's worth pointing out yet again that this is a very awkward position to have as an omniscient being, but hey. Party planners tend to make pretty good money, right? Isn't that the job they give to Jennifer Lopez in every film she's in?

As far as Xenagos is concerned, I'm more a fan of this art than I am of the rules text. I'm not sure Red and Green needed something like this, but I don't think these silly R/G decks and silly players will turn it away. Animar decks everywhere can continue to punish you for not playing an Animar deck, and they will do it by playing their copy of Xenagos, but that's all I god.

Overall, I'm not sold on Xenagos as a God and Commander, but I'm keeping an open mind.

Well, that's all I got for today folks. We love the comments, so keep 'em coming!

Until next time, Keep Calm and Good Luck at Prerelease!

-Ya Boi Landdrops

It's "Born of the Gods," not "Bored of the Gods..."

Now that most of the cards are spoiled in the second Theros expansion, Born of the Gods, it's time to do some pre-reviewing before the pre-release next week. 

Today, we're going to examine and re-visit some of the spins being done on previous set mechanics as well as the two new ones. 

Let's begin.

NEW MECHANIC- INSPIRED

Our first example is a card I've already heard people call, "The New Dark Confidant." 

I hope I don't need to point out the irony that comes attached with this "Inspired" mechanic.

Now, I have no idea how good Pain Seer is going to be in Commander, or any other 60-card format. I'm using this card strictly as an example of what seems to be the best card with this mechanic, and I'm really not seeing it.

What I know is that the thing about Dark Confidant is that he really doesn't want to attack. He wants to stay in the shadows until the board is clear of other little Goombas so that he doesn't lose his 1 toughness. 

That's why I believe that if this is supposed to be what Wizards calls, "Inspired," it's not. There's a rule taught in writing and reinforced in everyday life that we define ourselves how we want to be seen, not what we are. 

This is the inherent problem with this design of most of these cards. I don't see anything here that feels truly inspired. The mechanic itself is so innate to the game that it's obvious, and the majority of triggers that happen feel very similar to the Lorwyn/Shadowmoor block cards with untap symbols.

While it appears to be a pattern Wizards is showing us, Devotion is actually awesome across most of the formats being played. It's in the strongest decks in Standard, and it's rewarding people who play mono-colored decks in Commander.

Again, I don't have any in-game experience yet with these cards- but all signs point to flop. 

PAYING TRIBUTE

Tribute, on the other hand, feels a little more interesting.

For Commander, the best Tribute card revealed is probably this hot-lookin' Hydra. 

Though Wizards seems to be catching up for lost time with all the Hydras printed in the last year, I feel like I can still get behind some of the designs.

Here, I'll be willing to admit that I like NWR because it fights, which isn't as much about the Tribute as it is about the fight mechanic.

Clearly, Fighting is much better than Tribute as a mechanic because of elegance, natural color inclination, and simplicity (Fighting doesn't have numbers!), but still- I can see Tribute creating an entire Doctorate-Level course in Magic Player's Psychology. Some of our staff's favorite cards are Realms Uncharted, Fact or Fiction, and the always banned Gifts Ungiven. Though not the same, Tribute has a similar, tricky quality that just might be compelling. 

MULTICOLORED DEVOTION- NOT TERRIBLE, NOT BROKEN

Reddit was all abuzz a few days ago with the discussion on how the new gods make everything a little more complicated this time around with their color-split allegiances. 

So, in case you were probably wondering, but too afraid to ask, or too smart and thought you could make a great rules assumption, let's clear this all up:

1) Devotion on multicolored Gods is combined. For our example, it is not seven devotion to Green AND seven devotion to Red to turn our evil Planeswalker pal turned God into a creature. It is a combination of seven Red OR Green mana.

2) Hybrid mana symbols do not count double. Naturally, Deus of Calamity turns on Xenagos as a creature. That's because combined, they create 7 red and green devotion. 

The best way to look at this is to count number of non-numerical circles in a converted mana cost, not the color(s). With Deus' 5 symbols and Xenagos' 2, our Legendary Enchantment Creature God is a Creature.

However, your individual color Devotion is a different count (SIX devotion to red, and SIX Devotion to Green), and obviously never add up to twelve. 

Ultimately, I think this makes Devotion possibly better than it was in the first block. This isn't necessarily because of the strength of the cards spoiled either. I didn't think I was going to like it before I looked up how this is being counted, but I'm digging it. Devotion creates a fresh angle of game design which was already printed on every single non-artifact/colorless card in Magic, and it's going to force us to read the game in a different slant of light. 

Well, that's all I got for today. Continue to look for more Born of the Gods stuff once the full set's spoiled.

Until next time, devote yourself to something inspired so we can pay tribute. 

-UL

 

Theros Set Review: Threats

Welcome to The General Zone's Review of Theros! It's me, your ol' Grandpa Growth and I very excited to discuss the new cards from this set.

From the first day of spoiler season we were put on notice that this set was going to be a run away hit. It is dripping with succulent flavor. It breaks new mechanical ground and innovates on the mono-color-matters theme, which we haven't seen for years.

On sheer power level it is an instant competitor for G.O.A.T., including three brand new planeswalkers, five wicked cool God cards, a new cycle of dual lands, and tons of tournament quality cards sure to impact every format.

This set is a designer's dream, two scoops of popular reprints like Magma Spray and Thoughtseize, the return of a fan favorite mechanic in Scry, card cycles at every rarity, and fresh takes on Enchantment themes including previously unexplored card type combinations.

Basically, this set has it all. The best of everything about the game of Magic: the Gathering. I am bursting with excitement for this set, it is easily in my top 5 and I haven't even cracked my first pack!

Ground Rules
Let's go over the basics in case you haven't caught any of the previous set reviews. Around these parts we break it down like this:

1. This blog is about Commander. 
I will only talk about a card in the review if I expect it to have at least some Commander playability. Unless otherwise stated, the comments I make about any particular card are specifically geared toward the Commander format.

2. I will not discuss any reprints, only new cards, nor will we be talking about any of the Legendary Creatures.
It seems like that would be important stuff for a format that revolves completely around them, but fear not! check out Uncle Landdrops article where he will be talking about each of the new potential commanders in greater detail.

3. The articles will be broken down into categories not by card color or type, but by what role they play in decks. 
Threats, Answers, and Utility/Mana cards each get their own article. Because I want to give each new card a chance in the spotlight these articles can sometimes get pretty lengthy so bear with me.

Threats
Threat cards are what you use to kill your opponent or to put pressure on their resources. They are often the creatures and planeswalkers of the set, but occasionally take other forms like Reanimate effects or even some disruption. Some combo pieces fall into this category while others do not, but the explanation of why is obviously important. Without further preamble let's check out some cards!

Since I am just going to gloss over Celestial Archon, the new Elspeth is the first card on the block. This lady isn't messing around. A CMC of six isn't really a draw back in Commander. If this turns out to be a bust in Standard I would be happy; that will keep the price tag at a reasonable level.

This card is very scary in Commander. It just generates a ton of value every turn. Its tough to see this making less than six tokens on average and that is a lot of free creatures for a card that can also act as one-sided Wrath. The ultimate? Maybe not ultimate. Maybe...penultimate. Who cares?

There are plenty of token based strategies in the format and this card fits right into several popular decks. Ghave, Rhys, even fringe junk decks like Doran or Sen Triplets can use another planeswalker. Having a huge and immediate impact on the board is a surefire way to score points with me.

I am digging the new art as well. Elspeth now with a spear...lance? Maybe even a double bladed sword. Whatever. It looks sick. Eric Deschamps still making solid works that give the game a beautiful face. I really like the background landscape. It looks like it is calling back to the Unglued Island artwork, which you can see here: B00M! Maybe a sweet crossover in order with Chickens and Donkeys and all mana of silliness.

There are plenty of cards like this already available in the format that don't see a whole lot of play. The new legend rules affect Commander in a very interesting way.

Previously, Blue could use Clone effects as spot removal for Legends, which made them very powerful and very versatile. Now they are less appealing as a whole, but some of them are worth playing.

I don't know if this one has what it takes to make it, but I am not going to call it early. Heroic presents interesting challenges for deck building. I think this is one of the worst Heroic cards in the set simply because it does still suffer substantially if they have removal in response to the trigger, but once you get this into the shape of a Hexproof guy then you are pretty much in business.

This card has been given the juice. For four mana you get at least four power and one of those bodies has a relevant protection ability. If you have something like Future Sight or Mind Over Matter chilling on the board then this guy provides an entire army for a bargain price. Blue token cards are somewhat rare and they are rarely this good. This is an offensive powerhouse that is sure to get in some surprise beats.

Unfortunately, this card has a huge vulnerability to spot removal and can't trade profitably because the tokens won't stick around, but this card should still see plenty of play in Aggro-Control decks like Edric.

Enter Meletis Charlatan. Many of my comments about Artisan of Forms also apply here. There are plenty of other cards that have similar effects already available. This isn't exceptional among them and it isn't that strong of a card on it's own. Some upsides: it doesn't require a down payment on of cards or mana like Elite Arcanist and Echo Mage. Downsides: It doesn't allow you to take much advantage of your opponent's spells. It is still multiplayer friendly in theory, but it is just a little bit too friendly for my tastes. I think this one is better left at home, but I am sure I will see it pop up every once in a while.


UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!!! Just what I always wanted: another big silly Blue monster. Giant sea creatures figure prominently in Greek mythology and we all knew there would be several coming in this set.

I like the flavor and art on display in this card. It is a big beast, but when it goes monstrous it shuts the whole board down until they get rid of it. Without built in protection, investing eight mana is an easy way to get blown out, but in conjunction with Shroud, perhaps from a set of Greaves, this could represent a legitimate win condition.

There sure are a bunch of token producers in this set. There is a similar uncommon six drop in White as well. The advantage here is that for an extra colorless mana and the upkeep drawback, you get a 6/6 with Flying and all of the tokens it produces Fly as well.

This is the kind of card that will really only shine in EDH, and it's the perfect place for it. There are several mono Black generals that support the token sacrifice theme, such as Endrek Sahr, Master Breeder.

This plays well with Vish Kal, Blood Arbiter as well. In a generic junk deck this card won't be all that exciting, it is a pretty mediocre finisher and doesn't have any significant upside versus Grave Titan, except perhaps that it will never command a high price tag so it will get consideration in budget conscious lists.

This is an interesting card to me. On the one hand, Black has too few Buyback or Retrace cards that can even trigger the Heroic ability. On the other hand, it is an aggressive threat with the potential to clear away blockers and provide card advantage. I am skeptical that this will see mainstream play unless some absurd Heroic enablers get printed, but I am genuinely unsure about the power of the mechanic in general. It could be that I am underrating it significantly.

Power uncommon of the set. It is almost like a Black Overrun. Essentially all of your Black creatures get Haste and evasion. It reminds me of Profane Command. Every mode on that card is powerful, but the Fear mode makes for a powerful finisher. This effect just gives you so much reach late in the game. Sneaking through 5 or 6 decent size creatures is going to represent a boat load of damage.

In the M14 set review I talked about the rising power of mid-range creatures. That trend seems to have continued into Theros as well. This is a sizeable body with the promise of late game disruption. Getting a 7/8 on a board where you just wiped about a third to a half of your opponents lands is going to put you in the drivers seat.

Monstrous is a mechanic I can really get behind for use in every format. These cards have been aggressively costed to begin with and have the promise of added value later if you flood out on mana. The uncommon Gorgon that lets you pick off one of your opponents dudes when it powers up is a great example. If you are stuck on playing creatures, play these ones. They all turn into serious damage threats and often provide extra utility by attacking on a different axis once they are monstrous.

...Or they just do even more damage. This card got carried away with itself. Sometimes I am reading a card and I have no choice but to think that R&D considers me an idiot. I find my self thinking: "Yea, I get it, Red likes to do damage. This is going to be a very relevant card in Standard where a particular five power Hasty dragon already sees play.

I don't think this is quite as good as Thundermaw, but it is likely to be the chosen successor in Red based aggressive builds. Protection from White is relevant, even if Restoration Angel and Lingering Souls are rotating.

The monstrous trigger is an excellent way to punish Sphinx's Revelation, but I guess I just rather be the guy with a bunch of extra cards and a few less life most of the time. Pretty much everything I just said also applies in Commander. Don't fall into traps like this. Drawing cards is good. Mono Red is bad.

This competes somewhat favorably with cards like Cloudthresher and Stingerfling Spider. It is sure to supplant Silklash Spider in non-combo Momir Vig builds.

The fact is a giant beater is nice, but Green has plenty of options superior to this if that's what you are looking for. As part of a toolbox this has some limited uses, but the vulnerability to removal and the high blowout potential make me think that this isn't useful as an answer to Flyers.

On a separate note, Monstrous should grant Trample by default. That just seems like a given to me. Look at this thing. It shouldn't even be able to get blocked by small things at all.

Oh yeah, time to lower the boon on somebody fool. A four power Flash guy for three isn't all that bad, but not all that exciting either. An instant speed combat trick aura thing has absolutely no place in the format whatsoever. Play this at your own risk. It isn't worth getting embarrassed over.

Can't be countered. Can't be Mind Controlled. It can get Bribed though. You tell me how the flavor works. This is a reasonably efficient creature with sufficient built in protection to see some limited play. It really isn't anything that great, but there is always a market for creatures that trump counterspells. It is good early and late. I can see the value in a line like say, cast it for x equal to three, then play and equip a sword the next turn.

The real trouble with these uncounterable 'Blue hate' cards is that they aren't enough of  a threat on their own.

The counterspells will hit something eventually so they will always be good, but a creature like this has to kill very quickly or else it will just get blanked by a bigger threat or caught in a board sweep.

Free damage, usually even a good bit of it, isn't worth falling behind on cards by playing underpowered threats that can't dominate the board. Haste does give this a good shot at ending the game immediately if top decked late. An X over 10 is going to put you far enough ahead on life that basically anything makes for a reasonable follow up.

Remember that time that they printed Wight of Precinct Six and it was just a cheap Black Tarmogoyf? Well now it is back in Green and is basically always going to be a 10/10. Ghoultree does see play just for being a crazy efficient beater. Stuff like this is insane post board sweep in decks like Animar or Karador. It will always come down with some kind of discount. All the draw backs I discussed above apply here. It tanks to removal and sweepers, doesn't have trample, and can be countered or stolen. Unlike the Hydra though, this card is reliably cheap and aggressive.

This card...is not good. I know it looks good, but compare to something like Dungrove Elder or Wild Beastmistress. This isn't as big and doesn't do as much, but still costs the same. If you want a goofy beater that dies to Doomblade, you have better options. See above. Or below. Basically anywhere.

Apparently there are a lot of creatures in this set that just want to smash face and don't care about anything else. This characteristic is acceptable in one and two drops. Anything more than that and I start expecting more from my creatures. This could easily be a 4 or 5 power guy on turn 4. Which represents a lot of damage if you're into that kind of thing. I have had my fill of talking about these cards. I won't be playing them and I will be happy to play against them as much as I can. This card is about 30 power short of beating Wrath of God.
People are going to talk about whether or not this is better than Angel of Despair.

It's better. Clearly. More importantly though- who cares? That card sees an absurd amount of play and is a fan favorite. This fights Indestructible things (it's not like there are any of those in this set or anything) and generates even more value.

It still has a very reasonable cost for its impact on the board and there are just not enough of this kind of quality removal to be picking and choosing. Play both. Every time you can. Be happy about ruining your opponents board and smashing them with an incidental beater.


This card is pretty easily the worst pdub in the set. Not a big deal. It still pretty sweet and plays nicely with some popular casual themes in the format.

It doesn't do anything for the board, but it does go up to 5 loyalty immediately and should almost always be able to grab a creature after the second activation.

This also doesn't represent much of a threat so it is a bit more likely to get ignored than a more aggressive or impactful planeswalker. It is still pretty sweet to have laying around on an empty board or in a board stall and the bar for what a 3 cmc planewalker needs to do really isn't that high.

I talked about this card last weekend in my spoiler article so I won't get into too much detail about it this time around, but I do want to reiterate how scary this card is to me both in terms of its play value and what it means for design.

R&D is getting closer and closer to make a threat that literally just can't be answered. It took a long time to get Indestructible and Hexproof onto a single creature, but if in the future a creature like this ever gets uncounterability then what? Do I just pack up my fun and go home?

There are enough high quality equipments and auras that this card is just unbeatable once it gets powered up. I guess this is what I deserve for making fun of creatures all the time. Sooner or later they were going to print one that was so good I actually had to play it.

If you go for the bull's eye my friend, you're going to get the horns. I am so down for minotaur tribal. It really bothers me that the most heavily supported creature types like elves and vampires continually get support in every new set, but other flavorful fantasy creatures get hardly any at all.

This card is a little bit to expensive to be competitive, but it is still cool. A casual card that scratches a very needy itch. Hopefully this is a signal of future fun creature type lords in the future.

This is substantially worse than Eternal Witness, but you could say that about 99% of Magic cards and be completely correct. Stuff like this is always underrated. Increases in flexibility often overshadow decreases in power level or marginal const increases. This is way better than Gravedigger in your typical game of Magic and getting stuff out of the Graveyard is a key part of many Commander deck's strategy.

I am excited for the future sets in the block. There have been hints at several most named characters. These will almost certainly be most legendary creatures, but could potentially be additional God cards as well. Maybe even something like a demigod card. Maybe the demigods start as creatures and become indestructible enchantments if your devotion is high enough. That would be pretty sweet no? Other potential ideas: Cthonic gods. Jeeeeeeez.

So, the 4/4 Cyclops has Trample, but the 6/6 Giant doesn't? This card is an egregious flavor foul for me.

Partly because the flavor of an Enchantment Artifact or an Enchantment creature doesn't make any sense to begin with. If it is a magical device, it is an Artifact. It might be enchanted, but then it should have Enchantment Aura on it. Same for creatures. That is what it means to be enchanted. That is the flavor established by Aura cards.

Polis Crusher crushes cities. Pretty obvious. Why then does he destroy Enchantments? They aren't even enchantments or artifacts. Usually they are lands, actually. Ember Swallower should be named Polis Crusher. Polis Crusher should be called Aura Swallower.

I don't blame design or development. This isn't their job. The creative team, though. I want all of them retrained. They don't understand English. I hope that the localization teams in different countries make cards like this work in other languages. Also, this card isn't really worth playing.

Momir Vig decks have gotten so much better in the last two years. This is pretty insane. Not only do they get another Seedborn Muse, they get a Seedborn Muse that triggers both of Momir's abilities.

Oh, and all of your dudes have Flash. Because fairness. This is an extremely powerful card. If it had a home in more decks it would be much more scary, but the fact that really only RUG and UG can take advantage of this.

I don't see any Bant generals that were in desperate need of this, but Maelstrom Wanderer, Animar, Riku, and Momir can all make excellent use of this gem of a card. Pick up your copies now, this will figure into Commander for years to come.

This on the other hand...is very disappointing. It is way to expensive for such a narrow card and you still have to pay the mana to cast the chosen card later. Where is the value?

If you want to disrupt their hand, play Thoughtseize. If you wanted to disrupt their graveyard this would need to be an Instant or exile the whole thing.

I am seeing this as like an Instant for just UB with the same text box. Or perhaps with the same type and mana cost, but you get the chosen card from their hand and their entire graveyard and you can cast all of them for mana, or maybe just one of them for free right now as part of the spell's resolution. This is just very bad. Don't play this.

GO GO GORGON TRIBAL! Hexproof has made some very bad creatures very good. And also some pretty sweet creatures absurd, but about the former: Don't underestimate the incremental value of the Scry effect. This is a big body for the cost, provides a long term advantage, can't get hit with removal, and can trade up at any point.

I am not sure what kind of deck wants this, but it is a decent card. Sisters of Stone Death Gorgon Tribal deck. Savra, sacrifice decks. Maybe even Sek'kuar token decks.

Graveyard hate has gotten pretty spicy in the past couple of sets. It is now aggressively costed and attached to a nearly unblockable and gigantic beater.

This is an excellent tool for aggressive decks. They will almost assuredly have to kill it because they cannot block it. If you are up against a slower control deck you are almost guaranteed to have lost more creatures during the course of the game which means you're going to get a fully stocked hand of duders with which to continue the beat down. And it is a Cerberus. It guards the underworld, so you can't get things out of graveyards, but when it dies all the people can escape their eternal torment. This is good flavor. On a good card. Wowee zowee.

Phew. Finally to the end! And I saved a spicy one for last. This card looks sweet. It isn't in a very attractive color combination for Commander, but it certainly has the goods. It helps you ramp up your mana and will almost assuredly help you jump a few spots on the curve, but it also gives you a progressively larger army of Hasty beaters the longer it stays in play.

This compares favorably with many quality planeswalkers that already see plenty of play in EDH such as: Garruk Wildspeaker and Sarkhan Vol. The ultimate isn't exactly insane, but it should put you up at least a few cards, even if some of those are lands. That isn't so bad though, because you can almost always find something to do with extra mana in a game of Commander.

Just imagine if you play this and make a guy, next turn you are at 6 mana with no real investment. This card is well positioned in several formats and will command a decent price tag for the foreseeable future. Play them if you got them and hang onto them if you can. This will have a place in Commander for a while.

That brings us to the end of today's installment. If you think I left anything out make sure to share your thoughts in the comments below.  There is still plenty more Theros to talk about so tune in next time when we will be going over the Answer cards.