Last time I did lists, I'll be the first to admit things got way out of hand.
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| I mean, I didn't exactly kill anyone with a Trident. But still. |
Huge rankings were made, things were missed, and ultimately I'd say attitudes have already changed. I'm not sure my lists now would be the same as a few months ago. That's never a good sign.
Anyway, these lists will be better. I promise. Some of them will feature cards we've talked about before. Some might be obvious. Still, it's important to know that I am trying to steer away from the latter, unless it's just too good and I can't help myself.
10. Angel of Serenity
Yeah, an obvious card if you've pulled it or managed to purchase one. Grandpa Growth has previously called this card the "Angel of Infinite Beatdowns," and that is a pretty fair depiction of how one-sided she is.
If you watched the first Transformers film, Sector 6's crazy agent played by John Turturro would show his credentials and say, "You see this? This is my do whatever I want and get away with it" badge. That's how I like to describe her.
The only thing I have to say other than High Praise to this amazing card is the proxy I did for her, because I love the show Firefly too much to pass up the pun and beauty.
ANGEL OF SERENITY PROXY
9. Weathered Wayfarer
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If you said "Wayfarers" are the only
thing that could make this card cooler,
you are correct. Now, go sneak into
the cookie jar and get yourself a treat. | |
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Wayfarer is a card I used to get beat with a bunch of times in games with GG cause he'd use it to tutor for Strip Mine.
But I think that's more of a testament to how powerful this card is. It's Expedition Map or Sylvan Scrying on a stick, which is basically card advantage galore. Especially on the play.
Also, Gatherer has him classified as Human Nomad Cleric, which I think is kind of awesome. I'll never get why some creatures get a bajillion types and some get like, "Ouphe."
Anyway, this card is gross, and if you play multiplayer, the possibilities are even more endless, because no one will have the guts to blow it up before you get 2-3 lands out of the deal. This is assuming you just slam it down Turn 1 like a good Magic player.
8. Preacher
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I've thought about a proxy, but
I really like this art. It's sweet. |
This is a card I heard about on CommanderCast. Since the text is small here, I'll give you a quick synopsis:
Tap: Gain Control of target creature an opponent controls of his or her own choosing. You may control that creature as long as Preacher remains tapped and in play, and you may choose not to untap Preacher during your untap phase.
So if you haven't been playing since The Dark (which is a legitimate Magic Expansion AND a turn of phrase), Preacher is where they got the idea for Evangelize in the Time Spiral Block.
Like Andy said on CommanderCast, I kinda wish he was Legendary. This art makes him look awesome, both pure and full of evil, and he's got massive flavor. And to be perfectly honest, the only one I own is currently in the mail. Haven't even played it yet. Goes to show you how invested I am in this madman at the pulpit.
7. Eternal Dragon
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| Falcor. Forever. |
Eternal Dragon is some semi-original tech that I found when I was playing what I consider my first successful deck, Oros, the Avenger.
Having the instant speed ability to get a plains is huge. In mono-White decks, I have to play with less than my 40 land count because if I don't, I draw too much land. So there are circumstances where I might be scrounging around for an extra land.
He's mondo card advantage, and you can get him back in the late-late if you're hurting for a land, or you need a recurrable chump blocker.
6. Taj-Nar Swordsmith
Last year I re-discovered this card when searching for cheaper options to replace Stoneforge Mystic in my mono-White Dollar General deck.
Though he isn't better than ol' B-Cups, Taj-y really helps bring the heat. Having other copies of cards, even less-good ones, can really help make a deck run consistent and according to plan. And I can't tell you how many times I've been able to pull this guy out and go get an Umezawa's Jitte or a Sword of Fire and Ice. It's awesome. He's totally worth whatever he costs. So give B-Cups a buddy, and go get yourself one.
5. Ranger of Eos
Ranger was a beast in Standard during Alara, and I'm keeping tales of his awesome-ness alive whenever I can.
His best attribute is the lonely white mana symbol up top, which means creature packages of all colors and shapes are welcome. He's great with Figure of Destiny, Scute Mob, D-Master Flash, Gravecrawler, Dryad Arbor- pick your favorite 1-drop dudes. He loves them all.
Best of all though, he's even good in his own colors. In my Darien deck, I run a package with the Soul Sisters, White Mike, and Weathered Wayfarer. The Ranger has utility that just can't be bottled up and sold in a jar.
4. Aven Mindcensor
It's killing me a little that I don't remember where I got this tech from, but that's okay.
Mindcensor is insanely good, having Flash and Flying, even without the last ability. Also there's a ton of cool points for his strange cat-owl-looking face, his hairy arms, and his dress (If you can see his arms, it's probably not a wizard robe). Can't be a girl with those arms either.
I'm not concerned with anything that isn't performance though, and this dude owns players on the battlefield. Interacting with opponents in strange ways like this really frustrates them because they want to Diabolic Tutor all the time. Though an owl-cat, he's a great HateBear. Saying, "NO!" with your owl-cat Wizard tranny is a surefire way to mess with their heads. Excellent utility, and all-around sweet design.
3. Mirror Entity
If you want beatdowns, Mirror Entity's got them. Hidden beneath his reflective physique is the ability to do whatever you want, long as you're willing to pay the mana.
Entity makes all your dudes better, especially the tokens that you're probably getting if you're playing white, and he turns them into big dudes. He's basically a three-drop threat that you have to deal with in a few turns or else you'll be dead. Like Spawnwrithe, but better.
This is a card I think you want in every game in Mono-White tokens. Provided of course, that you're making 1/1 dudes. Angels might not appreciate his talents.
2. Seht's Tiger
Last week, we talked about my favorite cat, so I don't want to repeat things.
We just need to take a few moments and bask in the glory of how cool it is to be able to dodge Mind Twist and Fireball, let alone someone's army of lethal damage.
Having a White Leyline or Fog is really a lot more useful than you expect. And if you don't believe me, you should take the Seht's Tiger Challenge. Test it for yourself.
1. Stonecloaker
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I don't how the "Once you go Gargoyle"
saying goes, but I imagine there's
a lot of sexual violence. Like, a ton of it. |
GG played this against me the first time I saw it, and it was quite a blowout.
I sorta forgot about this card and was delightfully reminded about Mr. Gargoyle here from a really early episode of CommanderCast.
In the show, the guy called Stonecloaker "The Spanish Inquisition," because no one expects him. And it's true. I've shut down Reanimator decks, used him as a surprise blocker, even protected a Sun Titan from a pending Wrath.
Being white, Cloaker fills a lot of utility nicely. He's better than most graveyard hate because he can target whatever your opponent wants. He can also bounce himself back up for recursion. He's basically the Acidic Slime for White cards. As his semi-lude art suggests, Stonecloaker is Game-breaking value at a price everyone can afford. Just look at how he dominates his opponents into submission. That's basically what playing him is like.
He's quickly become the first card I slam into a white deck. Also, having flying and being a Gargoyle just make him just about the the perfect card. I say that cause there's probably something I haven't thought about. Right. Solemn Simulacrum.
I'm sorry Sad Robot. I hope I didn't make you sadder.
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Any excuse I can make to plug
my sweet alters, amirite?
Honk if you're a "Hitchhiker." |
Well, looks like I've got to find Marvin Simulacrum's
Box O' Xanax.
In the meantime, make sure you change the channel back to TGZ for Thursday and the world premiere of our newest writer, Mr. Johnny Confidant!
Til Then, Keep Talkin' Trash, Gloating, Rage Quitting, and Complaining at the Commander Table. Kidding. Please Don't.
But if your friends love that, then you're gonna love me.
By me, I did mean the "royal me," which will always and forever be Batman.
Not actually me. But SWEAR TO ME anyway!
Pass....
-Ya Boi Landdrops
Right off the bat we have a spicy one. Check out this art. Look at it. Feel the creepiness. The disgusting, visceral liquid dynamics showed off in this piece. It's like we went to the menu in a game of Magic and turned the Gore levels up to EXTREME. It really showcases the power of fully digital art. The original printing had art that was specific to the ogres in the Sokenzan mountains of Kamigawa, this new pic is much more general fantasy/horror and more appropriate for a set that has no specific flavor of its own. I like how the flavor text ties together the brutality and callousness behind sacrificing your own soldiers just to harm your enemies. It feels like war. It feels like Red. This is an awesome update.
I have always been a big fan of this cycle and the Charm trope in Magic in general. I love options from a mechanical standpoint, but for design they give you tons of flexibility when exploring how the color pie can fit together onto multicolor cards. Each ability is iconic and evocative of its contributing color. The total package ties together nicely into archetypal answer card from one of control's best color combinations. The addition of sweet flavor text is just icing on the cake. It calls back to it's namesake card: Crosis, the Purger, whose combat damage trigger allowed you to 'Persecute' your opponent. This is a card that I actually play and I am excited to see it get re-imaged for a new generation.
I like cycles just as much as the next guy, but it does sometimes bother me when Wizards or others feel obligated to include all five in a given environment/deck. For this reason I am very excited that the design team on this product chose to only include the good cards from this cycle. Not all the modes of this card are created equal, but the ability to just straight up counter any spell is already extremely flexible and, obviously, worth having on a card all by itself. The original art for this card was always a little strange to me. In it, Dromar's open claw was holding a token with a Greek-style capital statue. There is no ancient Greece in Dominaria so it felt a little off. That art was good, but this is better. I am not the biggest fan of this new flavor text, but at least it is a quote from the character we are referencing with this card.
This new art is just gorgeous. This is a testament to how far the creative team has come in the last ten years. I complain about them a lot. I know I am a tough critic. But this is progress. Compare how this card looks to the original printing. The art is more complex, has better lighting, better focus. The flavor of the Azorius guild writing messages about law in the sky of Ravnica is executed so much more elegantly with the new RtR look. Now I am not a hundred percent sure how the law-mages scribbling edicts into the clouds relates to making people draw cards, but I will let them off the hook for this one.
That art. DAT ART. It's scary, it's awesome. It has both 'ew' and awe. The landscape in the background, Mirrodin's black sun, the spires of the Mephidross spewing ichor into the air. It calls back to both Smokestacks and Phyrexian tower. The imagery unites the old and new Phyrexia beautifully. As for the subject, the whole living machine idea is at its creepiest when you literally have a organic body grafted into a cybernetic shell. It looks like the living weapons we saw in Scars block, which is super sweet. I agree with leaving the flavor text intact. No need to change what works.
